


Nyanser av kjærlighet

by nyanseravkjaerlighet



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: A little bit of angst, Coming Out, Fluff, M/M, Real Time Updates, Social Media, Texting, coming to terms with sexuality, finding the inner gay, instagram models, mentions of mental illnesses, some smut, they're the sappiest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-06 22:48:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 32,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14657826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyanseravkjaerlighet/pseuds/nyanseravkjaerlighet
Summary: Even Bech Næsheim is in a weird point in his life. He’s just broken up with his long-term girlfriend, and is finally beginning to deal with his recent bipolar diagnosis. He begins to take up some freelance modelling on Instagram in order to make some money during his gap year before starting University. He finds himself falling hard for the boy on Instagram with the Stephen Hawking quotes, and the fabulous jawline. The funny thing is, he’d never even known that he could fall for boys in the first place.Isak Valtersen, third year at Hartvig Nissen Skole, is in the closet. It’s not that he can’t come out, but the words simply get stuck in his throat every time he tries to say the words “I’m gay,” out loud. Instead, he escapes to the internet where he builds up a personality that sometimes is a little braver than he is in real life. It’s just his luck too, because someone seems to be listening. Someone who flirts shamelessly with Isak, and gives him the freedom to be himself. Too bad it’s only online.Two men who are completely stuck in their own little worlds, suddenly collide together in the form of Instagram comments, pictures, and DM’s, and of course, fall in love somewhere along the way as well.





	1. Monday 14.05.18 16:38 - Share

Isak was really fucking gay. Seriously, just... _boys_. He didn’t think he had ever even looked at a girl in a romantic, let alone sexual, way. But Isak was also really fucking deep in the closet. Or he used to be until recently.  
  
There was this one boy though, _just this one_ , that he had flirted with even when he had hidden who he was from everyone else, even his best friend.  
  
 _Even Bech Næsheim.  
_  
A boy that solely existed on Instagram, with his black and white aesthetic - just like Isak’s - and funny captions.  
  
A boy that flirted right back at Isak and called him _babe_ and made Isak’s heart beat faster when he knew nothing more about him than that he had a killer jawline, the softest looking hair and possibly an unhealthy relationship with smoking.  
  
A boy as abstract as could be and yet the one person that made Isak feel realer than anything else.  
  
Now Isak knew it was scientifically impossible to fall in love over Instagram - it was just inconvenient so science must say that it wasn’t possible, right? But here he was anyway, for the millionth time scrolling through Even’s Instagram profile, smiling stupidly at the pictures and feeling a tug in his stomach when he read over their conversations in the comments.  
It seemed so easy: there was a boy he liked so he flirted with him. Nothing more, nothing less.  
  
But as Isak was looking at those comments, reliving that swoop he had got in his stomach the first time Even had called him “babe” and every time he had done it after, Isak once again realised that there were worlds between who he was as Nyanseravuendlighet and who he was as just Isak.  
  
And he was kind of sick of it.  
  
Isak scrolled through his photo gallery on his phone until he found the picture he was looking for. His heart was beating hard in his chest.  
  
He wrote and rewrote the caption a million times until he was finally happy with it. His friends would see this. _Even_ would see this. That last thought made him smile.  
  
And with his hand shaking, he pressed _share_.

 


	2. Monday 14.05.18 19:53 - Head Over Heels

Even hadn’t met anyone this exciting in a long time. That was saying something, given that this person, “Nyanseravuendlighet”, existed solely on Instagram.

Of course, Even noticed the boy’s bio, which claimed that his name was Isak. Isak liked to post pictures of himself, and by the looks of it, he was a freelance model just like Even.

Everything in Even’s life was just fine. Sure, he was newly single, on a gap year before university, and generally not entirely sure what he wanted to do with his life. But hey, it was fine, because he had his friends, and his parents. That was all Even needed.

That was all he needed, until the boy on Instagram, with the black and white photos, the clever captions, oh, and of course, probably the most handsome face Even had ever seen.

Like, fucking hell. This dude was fucking top notch. Presumably, he had blonde curls, light coloured eyes, and the cutest pouty lips ever. 

Not only was this dude really, really hot. He was Norwegian. Oh yeah, and he flirted with Even on  _ every single _ one of Even’s photos. 

Even couldn’t help himself whenever he was interacting with Isak. He really couldn’t. He couldn’t help the suggestive jokes, the heart eyes, the all caps, the like. Even hated to admit it to himself, but he’d totally fallen, head over heels, on fucking Instagram.

Of course, it was just his luck when he’d logged on to Instagram that afternoon, to find that Isak posted a new picture. Even got himself ready to leave his usual flirty comment on it, when he paused, and read the caption.

Even froze for a second, feeling a strange sense of hope bloom somewhere deep in his chest.

Isak was gay? Or at least, he was confirming that he was gay?

Even smiled, unable to help himself, and opened up a new browser on his phone. The second that google popped up, he typed it in. “Cheesy pick-up lines.”

He was talking to Isak no matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! Thanks!


	3. Tuesday 15.05.18 01:10 - Drawing the Line

There was this giddy feeling running through him.  
  
Even had messaged him!  
  
Even had talked to him for almost two hours!  
  
Even was as funny and sweet and showering him in as many compliments as he did in the comments on their respective Instagram posts.  
  
Isak was grinning so hard, his cheeks started to hurt. “You make my heart beat faster,” typed out right there on his screen. Open, honest, so fucking real. Isak had never considered himself a particularly brave person but it was easy to be with Even, who kept telling him how gorgeous and cute he was.  
  
Still smiling like a lunatic in the darkness of his room, Isak scrolled through the messages with Even while he waited for his reply, giggles bubbling out of him at all the hearts and _fuck_ , he really liked that guy.  
  
He got to the beginning of their conversation and Even’s ridiculously adorable conversation starter. Isak hugged his phone to his chest as if it were actually Even, and he wondered if Even was lying in his bed right now, maybe across town or just a couple streets away from Isak, feeling as happy as he did in that moment.  
  
Feeling as if he’d finally found his purpose.  
  
It was a stupid, late night thought, that made Isak roll his eyes at himself as he went back to the end of their conversation.  
  
Even had seen his latest message and Instagram indicated that Even was typing. But nothing came through. And then he wasn’t typing anymore.  
  
Isak felt an uncomfortable tug in his stomach. Had he gone too far? Maybe he had read too much into this. Even probably thought they were only jokingly flirting and Isak’s last message was where he drew the line.  
  
Isak’s brow was furrowed as he scrolled back to the coming out talk, how Even had admitted that he had thought for the longest time that he was straight and then _but I see you_. If he had said that just for fun, it was seriously messed up and Isak got seriously worried about how he had perceived Even.  
  
Isak shook his head and threw his phone on the bedside table. He shouldn’t keep thinking about this. There had to be a good reason why Even had left him on read. Besides, not everyone was an insomniac like Isak, chances that he had just fallen asleep were pretty high. But Isak’s brain still liked to come up with all kinds of awful scenarios.  
  
Isak groaned, turning over on his stomach and pressing his face against the pillows. Willing sleep to take over so his brain would shut the fuck up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are super encouraging! Thank you for reading! <3


	4. Tuesday 15.05.18 05:02 - You Make My Heart Beat Faster

Even woke up slowly, nuzzling his face into the soft fabric of his pillow and breathing in the scent of his laundry detergent. The gentle music from his alarm clock played somewhere in the back of his mind, almost completely routine by now.

When he came to the realisation that he was holding his phone in his hands still, Even bolted upright.

He unlocked his phone quickly, ignoring the fact that it was almost dead, and opened up his chat with Isak again.

_ Isak. _

The boy on Instagram that he’d finally mustered up the courage to talk to last night (albeit, with a cheesy pick-up line). The boy who never failed to make Even’s heart swoon every single time he liked or commented on Even’s pictures. Even loved the banter between them, the flirting, or sometimes, the outright cheeky comments and sexual innuendos. Even loved it all. Not to mention, he loved the fact that Isak was so easy to talk to, that he was open and honest and hilarious and adorable and-

Even had never felt like this about anyone else.

And as he looked down at the message that Isak had left, his heart stopped.

“You make my heart beat faster,” it read.

_ Fuck. _

Even quickly jumped into action, his thumbs moving faster than his brain could even think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come join me on tumblr, and thank you for reading!


	5. Wednesday 16.05.18 22:11 - Risks about falling in love

Isak bit down on his bottom lip in a futile attempt to stop smiling. His heart was racing and there was laughter bubbling up in his throat.

_ I don’t want this to be casual. _

Isak let the happiness take over, laughing as he turned over to his side to hide his face against the pillows. If he closed his eyes, he could almost feel Even being right there with him, making good on his promise to hold him, cuddle him…  _ kiss him _ .

Isak had never in his life craved something as much as this. His fingers ached to touch Even, feel the softness of his hair, his skin, his lips. Have their smiling lips press into each other.

_ God _ , he wished he wasn’t so swamped with exams, wished he was as courageous as he was as Nyanseravuendlighet so he could just say fuck it and take a couple hours out of his day to just meet Even.

“Even,” Isak whispered, tasting the name on his tongue, smiling at what it made him feel. “Even,” He repeated just because he could. Laughing as he imagined what Even would sound like saying his name.

There was a soft knock on his door and before Isak could say anything, Eskild peeked inside. “Hello, little friend,” He greeted, pushing the door open wider and walking into the room. He sat down on the mattress and patted Isak’s knee. “I think I’ve never seen you this happy. It’s really nice,” He said carefully.

Under different circumstances, Isak would have snapped at his roommate but Eskild knew all about Even already and there really wasn’t any reason to hide this anymore. “I really like him,” He admitted in a whisper as if talking about Even for almost two hours yesterday hadn’t already said it all. The thing was, though, that this was the first time he had said it out loud: that there was a  _ him _ that made Isak feel every cliche feeling about falling in love.

“I know you do,” Eskild smiled in a way that told Isak how proud he was of him for being able to admit it finally. He hummed contemplatively and then said with a more serious expression, “Just be careful, okay? I don’t want your heart to get broken over some straight dude who just wanted to experiment a little.”

Isak furrowed his brow. “Even isn’t like that,” He insisted, “He said he doesn’t think he’s straight! And even if he ends up being… I’m just glad I met him and that I can have this now, you know?”

There was something akin to pity in Eskild’s eyes. “I know, baby gay. That’s why I said I’d be here to help him figure it out. I just want you to be aware of the risks.”

Isak shook his head vehemently. “There’s always risks about falling in love. Whether you’re straight or gay or something in between, but I’m not afraid of it. And Even, he- he said he wants us to be serious and I’m gonna believe him!”

Eskild smiled, squeezing Isak’s knee. “Okay. I’ll be here for you, Isak, either way.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and commenting! Don't forget to check out the tumblr nyanseravkjaerlighet for text messages and Isak and Even's instagram accounts! <3


	6. Thursday 17.05.18 16:17 - Pansexual

_ Pansexual. _ The attraction to people regardless of gender identity.

Even mulled it over in his brain for a second, pretending to be confused. Deep down, however, he knew this was right.

He’d never been attracted to Sonja because of the fact that she was female. He was attracted to her humour, her sass, the fact that she had no problem calling Even out on his bullshit. Yes, he was attracted to her physically, but it was never only because of the female parts. It was because those parts were attached to  _ her,  _ the person that Even had once fallen in love with.  _ Once  _ fallen in love with, being the key word. Because somehow, she didn’t believe him. She never had. She just thought that everything that Even experienced was somehow a symptom of being bipolar, and that none of it was actually real. Even didn’t know exactly what was caused by him being bipolar or not, but he knew that everything he’s experienced  _ was _ real. It was real because it happened.

Honestly, fuck her for thinking that Even was straight. She wasn’t in his head. She had no idea who Even was attracted to beyond herself. 

Even wanted to shout it from the rooftops. “I’m not straight!”

But then again, Sonja had proved to him today that perhaps, not everyone who heard him was willing to listen.

Maybe Eskild was right, maybe there was no need to go announcing to the world about his new found sexuality, but damn it, Even was excited.

He was excited because for once in his life, he wasn’t confused about himself anymore. He no longer felt the shame that came to being attracted to his best friend, because he now knew that Mikael wasn’t just an infatuation caused by the mania. He knew now that having a crush on your male best friend wasn’t the end of the world, and in fact, was completely natural and normal.

Maybe Even was a little more normal than he gave himself credit for.

He still felt that he owed Isak an explanation. Not because he felt forced to come out because Isak had done the same with him. However, he wanted Isak to know what his sexuality was. He wanted to let Isak know that he’s more than willing to start dating again. This time, with a boy.

Maybe Even could actually let himself have this. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find text messages between Even and Isak on tumblr! Thank you for reading!


	7. Friday 18.05.18 23:00 - Too crazy for Isak Valtersen

_ What the fuck just happened? _

Isak dropped his phone on his chest, blinking rapidly up at the ceiling. He had a hard time breathing.

They might have ended their conversation on a somewhat better note but that didn’t change the fact that Even’s words kept repeating themselves in his head.  _ I’m fucking crazy. I’m not a good person. I don’t meet the standards for “too crazy for Isak Valtersen.” _ And maybe the worst part was that Isak didn’t even know what Even’s voice sounded like so that voice in his head, repeating those things over and over again, sounded dangerously like his mother.

A gasp left Isak’s lips and he scrambled out of bed. He wanted his head to shut up. 

Deep down, he had known something was off. Isak still couldn’t pinpoint what exactly it was but this was scarily similar to what he had gone through with his mother at points.

But this was Even, he was okay, right? He wasn’t-

“Eskild?” Isak pushed the door to the room open, looking at his roommate desperately.

“Baby gay! To what do I owe-” Eskild started brightly but then took in Isak’s expression, his own immediately darkening. With worry in his voice, he asked, “Everything okay?”

Isak shook his head and then almost stumbled over his feet when he crawled into bed with Eskild, who immediately wrapped his arms protectively around Isak.

Just having Eskild pressed to his back already made Isak feel a little better.

“What happened, Isak?” He murmured, squeezing him closer, “Do I have to beat  _ someone _ up?”

Isak hadn’t even realised he was crying until the watery laugh bubbled out of him. “No. I don’t know. It might be nothing,” He sobbed. He was a fucking liar. It wasn’t nothing. Isak wasn’t one to cry a lot so if he did, it was definitely something. “Even. I’m worried about him.”

Eskild hummed in understanding. “I don’t know what’s going on, but whatever it is, just be there for him, yeah?”

“What if I fucked it up, though? What if he  _ hates _ me?”

“You’re not easy to hate, baby gay,” Eskild said, the smile audible in his voice, “And Even is absolutely gone for you, believe me. He doesn’t hate you.”

Isak brushed the tears from his cheeks and heaved a deep sigh. “He thinks I don’t want him in my life. I do. Eskild, I do. I want to be there for him, whatever he’s going through, I wish I could hold him right now and make sure he’s okay. I think I’m in love with him and I want him to understand that… that there’s nothing he could do that pushes me away.”

“Deep down he knows,” Eskild murmured, and he sounded so sure about it.

Isak squeezed his eyes shut, willing his thoughts to stop running wild.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the drama <3


	8. 19.05.18 16:30 - A Fucking Hurricane

Even stared at the ceiling, lying flat on his back, his chest completely deflated of air. His room was silent, as Even breathed in the stale air, he couldn't help but absolutely  _ beat  _ himself up at how stupid he had been with Isak last night.

Getting mad at Isak? Okay, that was maybe a little too far.

Telling Isak that he was fucking crazy? Now that’s too far.

Now this poor kid must’ve been so utterly confused, because Even’s brain was broken. Because he led this boy on, made him think that he was normal, and then suddenly, everything shattered.

“You don’t have to apologise for anything,” Isak had messaged him, oh so innocently, because he didn’t know the fucking hurricane that was Even Bech Næsheim.

There was the mood swings, the mania, the worrying of his friends and family, up until the point where Even would give his mother grey hair. Then, there came the depression, crushing, sinking, black hole in the centre of his chest, pinning him down into the bed. No, Isak didn’t know what he was getting himself into.

Isak should’ve known, too, because of his mother. Even had said that he was crazy, and that he would hurt Isak. Either the boy was delusional, or just really gone for Even, because Even knew that Isak would leave the moment things got bad. This wasn’t a reflection on Isak, not at all. Even wouldn’t blame Isak at all, because Even would leave himself too if he could.

Perhaps it was easier this way.

And yet, Even couldn’t help the skip of his heartbeat in his chest, the same hollow and void chest. It served as a shock to his system, a defibrillator of sorts.

“Take all the time you need, Even. I’m really sorry.”

 

Even wanted to hate it. He wanted to scoff and call the whole thing off. He wanted to leave before things got too complicated.

He couldn’t. He couldn’t leave Isak Valtersen even if he tried.

And now, he had to wait until everything blew up in his face, just like it always did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think in the comments!


	9. Sunday 20.05.18 23:11 - I appreciate you

Isak stopped breathing. What the actual fuck had he just done? A shiver ran down his spine as he stared dumbfounded at the words he had just sent.

At one point, Isak had thrown out a “love you” on one of Even’s Instagram posts, it had happened in the heat of the moment and was mostly an “I appreciate you so much. Thank you for being in my life. I’m here for you.” Which did not mean he hadn’t panicked back then either. But this was different now. They were talking face to face, or well, screen to screen, and there was talk about dating and being boyfriends and-

Who did something like this? Who sent a “love you” to someone he had only talked to for a week?

Isak did something like this.

And now he didn’t know how to fix it. He groaned and dropped his phone on the mattress, blinking up at the ceiling.

The dread in his stomach was slowly dissipating but there was still that nagging feeling that Even might never want to talk to him again after this stunt.

He put his hands on his face as if that would make him disappear off the face of earth.

And then something funny happened.

Instead of feeling panic-stricken, his heart started feeling full, almost bursting with happiness.

No matter how much he had fucked up just now, there was absolutely no denying what Isak was feeling. How much he had wanted to say these words. How many times during this rollercoaster of a week, he’d been so close to typing them out.

Maybe they were an artificial feeling. Could you really  _ love _ someone you’d never met? But at the same time, Isak had never felt anything like he felt with Even and if it wasn’t love, he had absolutely no clue what it was. 

At the end of the day, maybe that “love you” was still more of an “I appreciate you and I like you a lot” but it was also a “this could easily turn into love.”


	10. Monday 21.05.18 22:51 - Jump Into Something

Isak was so fucking cute.

He wanted Even to come over and cuddle him to sleep? If Even could, he would sign himself the fuck up.

Technically, he totally could come over and meet Isak. However, it sort of felt like an unspoken rule between them. They wouldn’t meet up until Friday. 

Even thought that at first, perhaps Isak had been using his exams as a sort of buffer before he could meet Even. After all, it would make perfect sense. Isak had only just come out, and he probably wanted to get a good grasp on Even before jumping into anything.

However, after some deliberation, Even decided that that wasn’t the case. He and Isak had already jumped into something, whether they wanted to admit it or not. They were exclusive, together, and they’d only known each other for a little over a week.

In the past, Even would have been terrified. But with Isak, every picture, every message, every “Babe”, felt so incredibly right. Even didn’t even think that he’d fallen that fast for Sonja, or Mikael. 

Maybe Isak was different. Isak wouldn’t tell him that everything that Even experienced was a result of being bipolar. Isak wouldn’t try to control his occasional intake of beer or weed. Isak wouldn’t hold him down unless Even needed grounding.

Maybe, it was just wishful thinking. Was Even jumping headfirst? Perhaps.

Then again, Isak had just fallen asleep, after seemingly struggling with insomnia for the past God-knows how long. Even wanted to see it as a sign of trust. Isak trusted him enough to fall asleep, and see him in that vulnerable sleep-soft state. Perhaps Even could do the same.

Not until Friday, though, at least. Even would never drop the bomb upon Isak over text. 

Nothing like “I have a major mood disorder” to lighten up the party.

Even could only hope that Isak would allow Even to be vulnerable back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	11. Tuesday 22.05.18 07:10 - Just like that

Isak woke up with a start, his heart was pounding. It felt like he had forgotten about something important.

But then he slowly came to his senses, his breathing slowed, and he felt his phone digging uncomfortably into his back. As a habit, he grabbed his phone and tapped it to life immediately, ending up in the Instagram app immediately. Even wishing him sweet dreams greeted him.

Isak scrolled up a little since he didn’t remember much of what had happened before he had fallen asleep and felt his cheeks immediately heating up.

Well, he could just die from embarrassment. 

He clearly was a mess when he was tired and half-asleep.

At the same time, he couldn’t help the smile tugging on his lips - Isak did not smile in the morning - because Even was the absolutely sweetest and somehow, talking to him had made his brain shut up enough to actually fall asleep at a reasonable time for once. That did not happen just like that.

They were so close to meeting in real life now and all Isak could think about was how if everything went well, they could end up in the same bed together - in the most innocent way - and Even could cuddle Isak. And if he already managed to make Isak fall asleep through the phone, there was no doubt, that he’d manage it in person. And wasn’t that a fucking nice thought.


	12. Thursday 24.05.18 12:12 - Woo your man

Isak paced his room nervously. In a little more than twenty-four hours, he would finally meet Even in person. His heart did all kinds of somersaults thinking about that. And his room looked like his clothes had been somersaulting through it as well. 

Isak was the type of guy that decided five minutes before leaving the flat what he was going to wear. It just wasn’t that important to him - some hoodie and a snapback; he didn’t need more. But he wanted to impress Even.

So apparently he was the kind of guy that panicked about his outfit a day in advance of the date.

Despite this not even being a date. Or was it?

Fuck if Isak knew. All he knew was that he was freaking the fuck out and he had nothing decent to wear.

He needed to bring in reinforcements.

Isak crept along the hallway to the kitchen where he heard Eskild and Noora chatting quietly. A whine almost left his lips - it looked like he had to do this not just with Eskild but also with Noora around.

As he stood in the doorway, he watched his flatmates standing at the counter for a moment, Noora making tea while Eskild seemed to fight her to take over.

“Eskild!” She groaned but Eskild just laughed.

Isak cleared his throat, “Uhh…”

“Baby gay!” Eskild cheered and Noora shot him a smile.

Isak rolled his eyes at the nickname, stepping farther into the kitchen. He was hovering by the table, trying to find the right words.

Noora asked, “Do you want some tea, Isak?”

He shook his head distractedly. “Uh, I- uh. I need new clothes.” He was an idiot. Isak’s face heated up embarrassingly. 

Eskild shot him his best worried dad look, furrowed brow and everything. “Do you need money, Isak? I can lend you some or you can get rent to me a little later…”

“No. No, that’s not it,” Isak immediately burst out, feeling Noora’s pitying gaze on him as well, “I- uh. Well, I wondered if- if you’d go shopping with me? For your- uh, advice on what looks good.”

There was a deafening screech and suddenly Eskild was squishing Isak’s face in his hands. “Is this real? I thought this day would never come. Noora! Isak just made me his _ fashion guru _ , can you believe? Oh my heart.”

Almost simultaneously, Noora and Isak said, “Eskild!” And Noora added, “Leave Isak alone. You’ll make him change his mind.”

Eskild actually listened to her and let go of Isak, but his smile was so big, it was ridiculous. “So,” He grinned, “This is about Even, huh?”

Isak blushed the deepest shade of red, a smile involuntarily spreading across his lips at the mention of his boy. “We’ll meet tomorrow so…”

“That’s tomorrow already!” Eskild exclaimed, clapping his hands together.

Noora smiled softly at Isak. “Are you nervous?” She asked.

Isak nodded, “Like crazy.” He was so glad that his flatmates were all-around supportive of what he and Even had, despite it being quite unusual.

“You’re texting every day, don’t you? He’ll love you, I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” Noora encouraged.

“Yes, yes!” Eskild chimed in, “But just to be sure, let’s go shopping! I know just the place!”

Noora looked mildly amused as she watched Eskild tug Isak out of the kitchen. “Are you going to be okay, Isak?”

Before Isak could answer that, Eskild went completely into business mode, “Okay, I think we need to find you a pretty button down to woo your man.”

“He’s not my-” Isak argued but faltered. It was undeniable that there was something between them, whatever it was. “It’s not- oh fuck it, what do you have in mind?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow's Friday!!! Let me know what you expect to happen until then and when they meet - if they meet ;)


	13. Thursday 24.05.18 22:43 - Speechless

For somebody so apparently new to being gay and out of the closet, Isak sure knew what he wanted.

After a sheet change, a long shower, and a massive self-reflection, Even could say with certainty that he was speechless.

Absolutely speechless. Isak still managed to surprise him in the best of ways.

It was the way that Isak told him what he wanted, how he wanted to be held, how he wanted to be touched. That boy was way too fucking hot for his own good.

Even stared up into the ceiling, unable to stop the wide grin on his face. Isak just left him so absolutely shattered, in the best way possible.

Other people were starting to notice it too. His parents commented on the fact that Even looked happy. Yousef and Mikael thought that he looked “radiant”. 

Of course, the boys knew about Isak, and just how gone Even was for him. They loved to tease him about it, but they knew just how happy Even truly was. Just the other day, Elias had told him that he didn’t think he’d ever seen Even so happy with Sonja, ever. Now, it was effortless.

Effortless were his dreams, which enveloped him like his duvet resting upon his shoulders. He dreamed of Isak, five years from now.

_ I love you,  _ dream-Isak said.

_ I love you too. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Thank you for reading!


	14. Friday 25.05.18 10:33 - Phenomenal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Friday! ;)

Isak slept in. He had earned that after the last few weeks of studying non-stop. He was surprised anyway that he could sleep at all but he guessed that was what a phenomenal orgasm did to someone.

After having been able to dodge Eskild and taking a long shower, Isak’s nap had turned into a full night’s sleep. Seventeen hours of sleep - he usually didn’t get that much sleep in a whole week.

But that orgasm- Isak flushed, thinking about it again. The sexting had come out of nowhere and Isak didn’t want to think too hard about what he had said because he had probably made a complete fool out of himself but apart from that-  _ holy shit _ .

Isak had done some research after his shower yesterday because his knowledge about sex was kinda limited. He’d never had it and it was slightly terrifying how much more experienced Even was. 

Isak knew all about public bathroom sex and hot threesomes - not that he particularly liked the idea of doing the latter himself - but the porn was decent and back when he hadn’t allowed himself to even think about being gay and doing those things with a guy, it was easier to get off to stuff that very clearly didn’t involve any feelings.

So he had done the research on cuddle fucking and well, the term in itself was kind of self-explanatory but seeing it on his screen was a different thing completely.

He might have gotten off a second time to the thought of Even holding him and fucking into him while mumbling the sweetest words into his ear.

Isak’s first instinct was to message Even so he reached for his phone and did exactly that.

Less than twelve hours and he’d actually get to meet him. Isak’s heart picked up speed, both incredibly nervous and excited at the same time.


	15. Friday 25.05.18 11:05 - It's Obvious

“Sorry I’m late!” Even shouted as he busted through the doors of KB.

Mikael, who had been taking Even’s place on bar, looked up, and then subsequently smirked.

“You got laid,” Mikael said as Even made his way over to the back, tying his apron around his waist. “Didn’t you?”

“What the fuck?” Even whispered, careful to keep his voice down in order to not alert the customers who were sat down.

“Have you finally met Isak, then?” Mikael asked, turning back to the milk frothing machine nonchalantly. “You two hooked up?”

“First of all, no,” Even said, coming up next to Mikael and hip-checking him out of the way so that he could take his place on bar. “Second of all, how did you know about me and Isak?”

“I know that you two have been talking, dude,” Mikael replied, shrugging his shoulders. “And I know that it’s more than friendly, and that’s totally okay, man.”

“It’s more than friendly,” Even repeated, swallowing the lump in his throat down. 

“Proud of you, dude,” Mikael said, and then, he turned back towards the cash register, taking his place. “So I was right then, you got laid?”

“Is it that obvious?” Even asked, unable to help the laugh that emitted from his stomach. 

“It’s obvious.”


	16. Friday 25.05.18 19:20 - You look nice

Isak was a fucking mess. A nervous mess and he’d been like that all day. His every thought went to Even and when they’d finally meet. The boys were about to arrive despite Isak having wanted to cancel the pregame a million times today. The thought of heading to the party earlier just to meet Even earlier had been too tempting.

But he also didn’t want to seem too desperate.

God, he was desperate.

The doorbell rang and Isak buzzed his friends in, their voices echoing as they made their way up to the kollektiv. They greeted him enthusiastically and Isak led them into the kitchen where they dumped their beers on the table.

“Damn, Isak. You look nice!” Mahdi complimented when they settled down, taking in the button down Isak was wearing - it was a surprise that he was even wearing it, he had contemplated just going with his usual snapback and plaid shirt with a plain shirt underneath but Eskild had sworn he’d have a heart attack if Isak didn’t wear the shirt Eskild had bought him (“I want to be a part of you finally growing up so put your money away, Isak!”) so despite feeling a little self-conscious about it, he had decided to wear it after all. “Thanks,” He mumbled uncharacteristically shyly.

Magnus said out loud what everyone was thinking and he did it with the biggest smile, “So, when will Even get here?”

Mahdi and Jonas were a little more subtle about their curiosity but their eyes were wide as they anticipated Isak’s reply.

Isak shook his head. “Nope. Not happening. We’ll meet up at the party.”

“But Isak,” Magnus whined, “Can’t you call him? I wanna meet him now!”

Isak rolled his eyes. Of course he agreed with Magnus. He wanted to meet Even  _ now _ but where was Magnus’ interest coming from?

“Hey bro, this isn’t going to be you being all secretive and finding a million ways for us not to meet the guy who has your heart, right? Because you do this… you hide important things from us and that can’t happen this time. Whatever’s going on between you and Even is serious and we deserve to meet him!” Jonas finished his little speech with a  _ Look _ at Isak that dared him to object.

And his best friend knew him too well. He wanted to disagree that he wasn’t like that, that he wasn’t hiding things but well- “You’re gonna meet him. At the party! Now shut up, and let’s drink, I think I need some liquid courage!”


	17. Friday 25.05.18 21:42 - To Even

Isak put his phone away, his eyes landing on the drunk girls making out. His eyes widened when he realised that they were Eva and Vilde and he couldn’t help the smile pulling on his lips.

That could be him and Even later. Maybe. Probably not because he didn’t want to force Even into anything he wasn’t comfortable with.

Isak was gnawing on his bottom lip, his stomach was filled with butterflies and he felt a little sick with how nervous he was.

Part of him wanted to run outside immediately but the other part was so fucking scared. What if Even was disappointed about what he saw? Maybe he’d made Isak out to be this really amazing, really hot guy and- the real Isak just wasn’t.

“Fuck, you can do this, Isak,” Isak muttered to himself.

Surprisingly, he got an answer. “Just go for it, Isak. You won’t regret it,” Eva grinned at him, her lips swollen from kissing. She probably had no idea what he was even worrying about but Isak wanted to believe her words anyway and watching Vilde giggle against Eva’s neck made him long for something like that as well.

He pushed past dancing people until he reached the sliding glass door that would lead him outside to the backyard. To Even.


	18. Friday 25.05.18 21:50 - You're Here

Even made his way through the crowd, bumping shoulder to shoulder, but never keeping his eyes off of his final destination.

The sliding glass door that led to where Isak was waiting for him, or at least, on his way.

There was a bowling ball in Even’s throat, but he trudged on. He knew that he had to do this. For himself, for Isak, for both of their happiness. He knew that Isak made him happier in a way that he’d never felt before. Isak made him want to be a better person, Isak  _ inspired _ him. 

Even knew that if he chickened out, that he would regret this moment for the rest of his life. Isak was his future, and his now. He was everything, and Even wanted it so bad. He only needed to reach out and grab it.

Before he knew it, he was at the sliding glass door. Outside there was a figure, tall, but not as tall as Even, blonde, curly hair, a blue dress shirt. Even though he had his back turned, Even knew who it was. It was Isak.

He opened the door slowly, careful to let it screech along the metal tracks at the bottom.

“Isak?”

Isak turned around swiftly, his eyes wide and voice unnaturally high. “Hi. Even?”

“Hi,” Even said, looking sheepishly to the ground before meeting Isak’s eyes once more. And holy fuck, were they beautiful, even in the dim lighting. “How are you?”

Isak let out a nervous laugh, hesitantly stepping closer to Even. “Fuck, I’m nervous. This is really happening, isn’t it?”

“I think so,” Even replied, taking a step closer of his own and then-

“Ah fuck it.”

Even reached out, wrapping his arms around Isak’s broad shoulders, and pulled him in for a hug.

As soon as he did that, Isak’s shoulders relaxed and a long sigh left his lips as he nuzzled his nose against Even’s neck right away. “Hi,” He breathed.

“Hi,” Even replied, unable to help the slight shiver that went through him. “You smell so fucking good, oh my god.”

Even breathed it in, nuzzling his own nose into Isak’s hair. He smelled sweet, slightly musky, something nondescript, and yet, something totally unique. Even couldn’t get enough of it.

“You  _ feel _ so good, fuck,” Isak mumbled, “This is better than I imagined it.” He squeezed his arms tighter around Even.

“How did you imagine it?” Even wondered, trailing his fingers lightly down Isak’s spine. 

Isak shrugged, lifting his head slightly to look at Even but he kept his arms around Even. “My imagination couldn’t even come close to this right now.  _ God _ , you’re- wow. You’re absolutely stunning.”

“I’m stunning?” Even teased, looking down at the hopeful green eyes that stared up at him “More like, you’re absolutely beautiful and you take my breath away.”

“Even…” Isak’s hand slid into Even’s hair, tugging him a little closer. His smile was almost a little cheeky as he dared Even with his eyes to close the distance.

Even watched long eyelashes flutter shut, and he took a moment, reveling in the warm breath against his skin. Even closed his own eyes, tilting his head forward ever so slightly, Isak’s slight panting against his lips and-

“Yo, Isak!” Said a voice, and the two boys sprang apart.

Even reached up and sheepishly ran his hand through his hair, unable to keep his gaze off the ground.

The sliding glass door opened, allowing the muffled sounds of the music to become louder again.

“Dude,” said the guy again, his blonde hair flopping into his face. “You gotta see this, there’s so much drama! William just came back and Noora’s like, totally shook.”

“Fuck,” Isak groaned, looking from his friend back to Even. “I- Noora’s- I gotta make sure she’s okay, sorry, Even. Can we…” He trailed off, unsure.

“She’s your roommate right?” Even asked, still not looking up.

Isak tugged on his curls, nodding. “Yeah… I’m really sorry.”

Even finally looked up, to where Isak’s friend was looking between the two of them. He cocked his head, furrowing his brows.

“It’s okay,” Even said, looking back to Isak finally. “I’ll be fine. Come find me after?”

“Wait!” Isak’s friend interrupted, his voice much too loud. “Oh fuck,  _ you’re _ Even? Isak hasn’t stopped talking about you all week and! Oh my god, you’re even hotter in person, holy shit! I mean like, I know you’re Isak’s man and you two probably want to get out of here to ban-”

“Magnus!” Isak interrupted, face red, “Shut the fuck up!” He threw his hands in the air dramatically, “What the fuck?”

Even chuckled, unable to help himself. “So  _ that’s  _ Magnus?”

“Yeah,” Isak sighed, rolling his eyes but when he looked back at Even and their eyes met, he couldn’t help smiling.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Magnus exclaimed, but it was all background noise to Even now.

“Go help your friend,” Even murmured, slowly reaching out and grabbing Isak’s hand. “Let me know when you’re done?”

Isak furrowed his brow. “You can come, you know? I don’t mind. Actually, I’d love if you came along.”

“I think I’ll just stay low,” Even dropped his voice to whisper, all of a sudden realising that Magnus was craning his ear to try and hear their conversation. “I’m a little overwhelmed.”

“Oh, okay,” Isak squeezed Even’s hand that he was still holding, “Are you okay?” He was clearly torn between checking on his friend and staying with Even.

“I’m okay,” Even comfirmed, looking down at their joined hands and smiling. “I just need to a little bit of quiet. Message me?”

“Yes! I’ll be quick!” He darted in to press a kiss to Even’s cheek but it was so fast that it almost didn’t register with Even.

As Isak pulled away, Even’s hand went up to touch his cheek. He could feel the warmth, the blood rushing to his skin. 

“Okay,” he whispered, but it was clear that Isak didn’t hear him, as he squeezed through the entrance of the door once more, shouting something very loudly at Magnus.


	19. Friday 25.05.18 23:05 - Infinity

Isak knew that technically he owed William something for helping out back when he was in first year and got in trouble with the Yakuza guys.  _ Technically _ .

On the other hand, it had mostly been Chris who had organised the Penetrator’s help so fuck William. He had hurt and fucked up Noora so badly, he didn’t deserve anything.

Before the argument could escalate into a real fight, William finally left and Isak was there to pick up the pieces - Noora - until the girls were by her side to comfort her.

As soon as the pressure wasn’t on him anymore, Isak headed for the kitchen to find himself a drink. He sure needed one right now. And while he leaned against the counter, sipping on his beer, he fished his phone out of his pocket to message Even.

He had already typed out a message when he thought better of it. A slow smirk spread on his face as the plan formed in his head.

Even was a sucker for romance and Isak was willing to give him that. Now it wasn’t actually a plan that he had but if everything worked out, it would be the perfect movie scene.

Their eyes would meet across the crowded room and the other people would fade to the background as they closed the distance between each other. Then a spotlight on them and their first kiss. It would be perfect - excluding the spotlight maybe since Isak had no idea how he could organise that but it was the thought that counted, right?

Eva’s house had been packed from the moment he had arrived - which had made it so fucking difficult to find Even the first time around - and it had only gotten worse.

But at least Isak had a bit of a height advantage and could overlook most of the people. He craned his neck to see if he could spot Even somewhere.

No such luck, however. “Fuck,” Isak sighed, the weight of his phone in his pocket heavy. He had the rest of the night to be romantic, maybe this wasn’t the right moment for it. 

“Isak!” Someone bumped into him and when he looked at his best friend, Jonas seemed surprised to see him here, “Magnus said you were with your, I quote, eye candy… I thought you’d taken off.” There was a hint of accusation in his voice as if he wanted to say that he had known all along Isak would escape before having introduced Even properly.

“Magnus also pulled me away to check on Noora so that’s where I was for the past hour,” He said in an annoyed tone, adding his own accusation into the words, calling Jonas out for not trusting him. They’d known each other all their lives so it was easy to communicate with looks alone.

Jonas’ expression darkened. “Noora? Is she okay? Someone mentioned that William showed up?”

“Yeah,” Isak huffed, feeling anger boiling under his skin again at the simple mention of that name. But he was kind of on a mission so he didn’t want to get hung up on this now. “Uh, I gotta find Even. Sorry, bro, we’ll talk later, okay?”

“Wait!” Jonas exclaimed before Isak could dart off. He grabbed his arm to hold him in place. “How did it go? Meeting Even for the first time? Was it like you thought it would be?”

Isak grinned and he wouldn’t be surprised if his eyes were twinkling right now. “Better. Jonas, he’s-” He cut himself off, unsure if this was okay. Could he just gush over boys -  _ one boy  _ \- like his friends gushed over girls?

“He’s?” Jonas prompted with a smile.

Isak opened his mouth to finish his thought when he felt someone press against his back and then arms wrapped around his waist. “Thought I’d never find you,” Even breathed against the shell of his ear and Isak shivered.

He melted into the embrace and beamed at Jonas when he said, “He’s sweet and gorgeous and I love everything about him.” He wasn’t embarrassed about admitting what he felt for Even in front of Even and Jonas.

Isak was a little surprised though that Even showed affection so openly when he wasn’t sure about it the last time Isak had asked about it but Even was close enough that Isak could smell the beer on his breath so maybe he had some help with losing his inhibitions.

“Jonas, this is Even. Even, that’s my best friend…” Isak introduced them but his neck was twisted so he could look at only Even. 

“So you’re the famous Jonas.” Even eyed Jonas with his eyebrows raised and Isak froze, remembering that Even knew  _ everything _ .

“And you’re the famous Even,” Jonas said in the same tone, calculating gaze taking in Even.

Isak was squirming uncomfortably. This wasn’t supposed to turn into some best friend vs. boyfriend scenario. Not that Even was Isak’s boyfriend or anything but still. He cleared his throat and directed at Even, “Should we find something to drink?”

“Okay,” Even said, his warm breath tickling Isak’s ear in the best way possible. “Lead the way, babe.”

“Fuck,” Isak blurted, completely unprepared for being called ‘babe’ in real life.  _ By Even _ . “Okay, uh- see you later, Jonas!”

“Yeah, nice to meet you, dude,” Even called out, unable to keep his eyes off of Isak. 

Isak felt excitement thrum through his veins when he grabbed Even’s hand to lead him to the kitchen, not letting go of it when he rummaged through the fridge to find his beer. “You said you liked Tuborg, right?” Isak shot Even a questioning glance and then just kind of kept looking at him with a dopey smile.

“Tuborg is fine,” Even replied absently, his gaze on Isak just as steady. The butterflies in Isak’s stomach fluttered. “How’d it go with your friend?”

“Friend?” Isak asked in confusion, Even the only thing on his mind.

“The one with the drama? Noora?” Even furrowed his brows, finally breaking the eye contact momentarily. “Is she okay?”

Isak felt absolutely stupid. “Right,” He blushed, “Yeah, well that didn’t go too well. But it’s all good now. She’s with her squad so yeah…” They were still holding hands and Isak felt warm all over and he really didn’t want to talk about Noora right now. 

“That’s good,” Even said, running his thumb gently along Isak’s where they were intertwined. “And you? Are you okay?”

Isak shot Even a secret, happy smile. “Yeah, of course I am. You’re here.”

“Isak…” Even trailed off, his eyes glancing down at Isak’s lips before moving back up to his eyes. Even’s other hand graced along Isak’s cheekbone gently, and then moving back to settle into Isak’s hair, playing with the strands absentmindedly.

His smile widening, Isak asked cheekily, “Is this where I get the promised kisses for studying? I believe it were about one thousand.”

“I’ll give you infinity,” Even replied, his voice breathy. “How does that sound?”

“That sounds perfect,” Isak whispered, stepping closer so they were chest to chest, his hand that wasn’t tangled with Even’s resting on Even’s hip.

“Perfect,” Even whispered back, tilting his head closer to Isak’s. Isak could feel Even’s heartbeat thrumming through his chest, not unlike Isak’s own heart. 

They were so close. Isak just needed to close the gap of about an inch, and they’d be kissing. He kept the moment suspended for a little bit, however, letting his and Even’s laboured breaths intermingle. This was it, this was the moment-

“Even! Dude, there you-” a male voice sounded out through the kitchen, loud and obnoxious, completely breaking the bubble. “Oh fuck! I’m so sorry!”

Isak sprang away from Even, for a second forgetting that he was out of the closet and should be proud, instead of being terrified of being found out. His heart was beating like crazy as he looked between Even and the other guy. Once he had calmed down a little and the awkward silence in the kitchen got way too suffocating, Isak stepped forward and introduced himself to who was probably Even’s friend, “Hi. I’m uh- Isak.”

“Mikael,” said Even’s friend, stepping forward to stick out his hand for Isak to shake. Isak shook it. “Didn’t mean to interrupt you two, I’ll get going now. Sorry, Even.”

“Thank you, Mikael,” Even sighed. When Isak looked back at him, he could see the exasperated expression gracing his features. 

Isak kept a straight face for all of two seconds when they were alone again, before he burst out laughing. He couldn’t believe they’d been interrupted a second time already - this time without any reason even - and Even’s face was just too adorable. “There’s a bathroom upstairs that will most likely be empty. Wanna go there? To talk or something?” He suggested, then paused a second before he blushed once more. “To  _ actually _ talk. Uh- that sounded more suggestive than I intended it to. Sorr-”

“Isak!” Even interrupted, grinning widely. “I’d love to  _ talk.  _ I have a couple joints too if you wanna unwind?”

“Don’t make it sound so dirty, oh my god,” Isak hit Even’s chest but he was smirking, “But yes. I’d like that.”

“I think we’re already past that point, don’t you?” Even asked, his grin now incredibly cheeky. Isak wanted to kiss it off of his face.

Isak felt that familiar tug in his stomach that he had felt so often in the past whenever he was thinking of Even. He licked his lips, taking the moment to really look at Even. Take him in from head to toe. “Not in person yet,” Isak pointed out, winking at Even before he turned around. He hoped he left Even as tongue-tied as Even made him feel.

“You’re a menace, you know that right?” Even teased behind Isak, but still followed closely behind him. He followed Isak through the thrum of bodies, grabbing onto Isak’s hand when they felt themselves being separated by the sheer amount of people in the house.

Isak smiled to himself and squeezed Even’s hand. He couldn’t believe that this was his life now; that there was a beautiful boy whose hand he was holding and who liked him back. They got to the second floor. Isak opened the door to the bathroom carefully, grinning when he found it was, in fact, empty. Without thinking about it, he sat down in the bathtub, his legs dangling over the edge. “Join me?”

“Okay,” Even replied, swinging one of his ridiculously long legs over the ledge of the bathtub and settling himself in right next to Isak. He reached into the pocket of his jean jacket, and pulled out a rolled joint, holding it up for Isak to see. “You wanna?”

“Eyyy, let’s smoke!” Isak grinned, stealing the joint from Even and putting it between his lips, a challenging look in his eyes as he waited for Even to light it for him.

Even reached into his pocket once more in order to grab a lighter. He pressed his thumb down and sparked the lighter to life, the flame dancing in front of Isak’s eyes. Isak lit the joint, never keeping his eyes off Even, who was looking down at Isak’s mouth.

The smoke billowed between the two of them, creating a hazy atmosphere in the small bathroom. Isak inhaled the smoke into his lungs, reaching up to grab the joint between his fingers and pull it from his lips.

“Damn, that’s some good shit,” He said, voice rough from the smoke.

“Mmh,” Even replied, reaching out to grab the joint from Isak’s fingers, and placing it between his own lips. He inhaled the smoke, allowing a tiny puff of it to escape his mouth before breathing it down into his lungs. “Hoping to calm down some of my nerves.” Even chuckled a little bit, the smoke now fully escaping from his mouth.

“Am  _ I _ making you nervous?” Isak chuckled. Even was looking like that but it was Isak who made him nervous? Sounded unreal. “Hey…” He bumped his knee against Even’s, “Did you bring the playlist?”

“Yes, you’re making me nervous,” Even replied, taking another drag from the joint before passing it over to Isak. He reached back into his pocket again to grab his phone, tapped on the screen a couple times, until a familiar sound escaped the speakers. “You like?” Even asked, wiggling his brows up and down.

Isak groaned. “And here I thought you were actually joking about Gabrielle. I stand by what I said: serenade me and I might like it,” He challenged.

“Oh fuck,” Even laughed, leaning his head back against the wall. “Now you’re really making me nervous. Gimme the joint, I need to be more high for this.”

“Just sing to me later,” Isak laughed, “No need to be nervous. Wanna show me Nas while you get more high?”

“Yes!” Even jumped up once more, tapping on his phone screen again. “But then again,” Even turned to Isak momentarily, wiggling his brows once more. “You already know him, don’t you?”

“Exactly!” Isak exclaimed, “But it will be nice to listen to with you.” He scooted a little closer to Even even though they were already incredibly close. He just wanted to be even closer. 

“God, you’re so cute,” Even said, nudging his shoulder against Isak’s. Finally, different music poured through Even’s speakers.

“I’m cute? Have you seen yourself?” Isak smiled, then closed his eyes to listen to the music properly, bopping his head along to the beat.

“I have seen myself, funnily enough.” Even’s voice was close, and when Isak opened his eyes, he noticed that Even was even closer, watching Isak carefully. “Do you like it?”

Isak leaned forward, running his nose along Even’s. “Almost as much as I like you,” He breathed, his heart stuck in his throat.

Even stuck the joint in the corner of his mouth, inhaling the smoke slowly, never taking his eyes off Isak. When he pulled the joint away, he held the smoke in, his eyes travelling down to Isak’s lips for the thousandth time that night. With his free hand, he reached up to press his thumb into Isak’s lower lip, pulling it down slightly. And then slowly, very slowly, exhaled the mouth into Isak’s open mouth.

Isak inhaled deeply and when he pushed the smoke out of his lungs again, he panted, “Even…” His whole body was thrumming with want. 

“Yeah?” Even’s voice was slightly rough, and a little out of breath. 

Grabbing the front of Even’s shirt with one hand and tangling his fingers in Even’s hair at the back of his neck, Isak whispered, “I want you.”

“God, Isak, you have no idea how much I want you,” Even exhaled, so close to Isak’s face that their lips were brushing together gently. “Can I-”

The door slammed open, and a girl with blonde hair barged in, not even paying attention to the two boys in the bathtub. Isak and Even wrenched apart quickly, but it would be obvious to anyone what was happening between the two of them.

“I need to pee,” said the girl, her voice monotone.

Even rolled his eyes, taking another long drag from the joint in order to occupy himself.

“And I need you to leave,” Isak muttered under his breath, making Even giggle. This time, louder, he exclaimed, “There’s a bathroom downstairs, you can use that one.”

“It smells like shit,” the girl retorted, sneering slightly. “There’s a toilet right here.”

“Of course it smells like shit,” Even piped up, handing the joint over to Isak. “It’s a bathroom, that’s what it’s meant for. Now if you’ll excuse us, we were in the middle of something.”

“You know what, you don’t need to keep this up, Isak,” the girl said once more, completely abandoning bathroom talk. “You don’t need to prove to me and Emma that you’re gay, because we both know that’s just not true.”

“Excuse me?” Isak screeched. He was pretty sure he’d never seen that girl before - of course he had heard of Emma though.

“Emma’s my best friend,” she said, crossing her arms defensively as she leaned against the doorway. “She told me everything, you asshole.”

“Everything? Like how she - and you obviously - are homophobic pieces of shit? You know what? You should really use that bathroom downstairs that smells like shit because  _ clearly _ that’s right were you fucking belong!” Isak yelled, his heart pounding in his chest. Even grabbed his hand and that was probably the only thing that kept him somewhat grounded.

“Isak,” Even interrupted, his voice surprisingly gentle. “She’s not worth it, let’s just get out of here.”

“Fuck. Yes. Yes, okay,” Isak mumbled, hating how he felt angry tears welling up in his eyes.

“C’mon,” Even murmured, tugging on Isak’s hand in order to get him out of the bathtub. Isak stood up, defeated, and followed Even, his head pointed down.

“That’s all you’re going to say?” Emma’s friend said, still maintaining the ugly sneer.

“Okay, you need to shut the fuck up,” Even said, stepping in front of Isak protectively. “This is so fucking petty. He’s gay, and he’ll never be interested in Emma. You can tell her that.”

“Even,” Isak’s voice was shaking. He just wanted to get out of there before he actually burst into tears right in front of her.

Even turned, and all traces of anger left his face. “Okay,” he said, gently, reaching up to brush his finger on Isak’s cheek. “Let’s go.”

The party was too much suddenly, Isak just wanted to leave. “Can we get out of here?” He asked Even hopefully, looking at him with wide eyes.

“Wanna go to my place?” Even asked, reaching up now with both of his hands to cup Isak’s cheeks. 

Isak nodded, “Yes, please.”

“C’mon, then,” Even said, this time a little louder, reaching out to grab Isak’s hand to tug him along, out of the bathroom, past Emma’s friend. Isak followed, his head down, as they walked down the stairs. The bodies that filled the house now felt suffocating, the loud voices making their way into his brain like parasites. Isak knew that they probably weren’t talking about him, but that’s all he heard.

_ You know that he cheated on her?  _ They said, digging their way into Isak’s stomach, leeching onto his very essence.  _ And then he told her that he was gay so that she wouldn’t get mad at him? What a snake, honestly.  _

When they reached the bottom of the stairs, Isak bumped into a body head on, and finally, he looked up.

Of course, just what he fucking needed.  _ Emma. _

“Emma,” Isak called out weakly, holding onto Even’s hand tighter. He wasn’t sure he could do this right now, whatever she was going to throw at him.

“Isak,” she replied, her gaze cold.

“Nope,” Even butted in, tugging on Isak’s hand in order to pull him away. “This is not happening.  _ You  _ can go fuck yourself.”

Even glowered at Emma as he pulled Isak away. Isak went, allowing Even to guide him, not trusting himself to walk properly at the moment.

Even guided him to rest against a door frame, allowing Isak’s head to thump back onto it.

“Isak,” Even said, leaning in close so that he could be heard over the loud music. “I want to try something, but I want you to know that I’m doing this for us, and not for her, okay?”

“Okay?” Isak just wanted to get out of there but he couldn’t find the words to ask that of Even.

“Okay,” Even repeated. Both of his hands cupped Isak’s cheeks again, nudging his nose against Isak’s so that Isak would look up. “Before we go, I promised you infinity, didn’t I?”

Isak nodded jerkily. His hands were bunching the front of Even’s shirt. “Infinity,” He whispered back, feeling some of the weight lift off his shoulders.

“Here’s one,” Even whispered, his voice so soft, his breath warm against Isak’s lips.

When he kissed Isak, all of Isak’s breath left his chest. 

Isak stood frozen for all of one second before melting into Even’s arms, and beginning to kiss back.

Isak felt another weight lift from his shoulders, one that he hadn’t even known was there. An elated laugh left his lips but he didn’t pull away. Not yet. He deepened the kiss again, feeling Even’s smiling lips against his.

Isak didn’t care that the entire party was watching. Emma was watching, Jonas, Magnus, Mahdi, and probably quite a few of his other friends. It felt so incredibly liberating, stood here in the arms of the man who took his breath away in every way imaginable.

Isak felt Even’s tongue slowly begin to slide along his bottom lip as the kiss deepened. Isak let out a noise, only able to feel it through the vibrations deep in his throat. He opened his mouth, allowing the kiss to become dirty as Even’s slid his tongue in alongside his. 

Isak clutched even harder at the fabric of Even’s shirt, feeling a pang go through his stomach as Even’s tongue began to explore even more. There was a tiny part of Isak that still remembered the people they were surrounded by but the thought of Even was much more prominent. Even touching him, Even kissing him, Even, Even, Even. They were so close now, chests pressed together and Isak took a moment to really revel in that moment. He was chest to chest with a guy - and not just any guy, with Even - his hands, slightly rough but still gentle on his face, caressing down to his neck. Isak shivered all over.

He wanted to leave the party but not to escape it like moments before, but to be alone with Even. To have this with him, forever, for infinity. Sure, Isak would gladly kiss Even anywhere, anytime. But nothing beat just the two of them, alone together, 100% vulnerable and soft and loving and sweet and sexy and everything else. They were Isak and Even, and no matter how they talked, whether it be in person, shotgunning weed in a bathtub, or on Instagram, talking about anything and everything, it didn’t matter. What mattered was that they were there, with each other. 

With a last peck to the lips, Even pulled back, and Isak chased his lips, unwilling to stop. “Is this how you kiss everyone?” Isak mumbled, smiling triumphantly against Even’s mouth when he managed to steal another kiss. Even was addicting.

“No, just the people that I’ve promised infinity to,” Even said, his voice hoarse, his lips red and swollen. 

Isak felt his heart bursting. He let go of Even’s shirt and instead, cupped Even’s face in his hands like Even had done to him before. Pressing a hard kiss to Even’s lips, he murmured, “Let’s work on infinity at your place.”

“Okay,” Even said, chasing Isak’s lips one last time before completely pulling back.

Together they walked out of the party, fingers interlaced, wide smiles on both of their faces.

No one could ruin this moment even if they tried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So they actually met huh? :D Let me know what you thought <3


	20. Saturday 26.05.18 01:15 - Slapp av, jeg har deg

“I hope you like bunk beds,” Even said as they finally walked into Even’s flat, after a too long journey on the tram, and an old lady staring at Isak and Even’s intertwined hands the entire time. 

“Bunk beds? Seriously? Oh my god, I haven’t been in one of those since middle school or something when Jonas’ family took me along on cabin trips!” Isak cheered.

“Just one,” Even chuckled, not wanting to curb Isak’s enthusiasm too much. “There’s a sofa underneath it. Besides, I don’t think that Jonas ever kissed you on  _ his _ bunk beds, did he?”

Isak raised his eyebrows, smirking when he teased, “Just one? That’s a deal breaker, sorry.” He giggled at Even’s affronted expression and added, “And nope, Jonas definitely did not kiss me on his bunk beds. But if you kiss me like before, maybe just one bunk bed doesn’t have to be a deal breaker after all.”

“Well, when you ask so nicely…” Even trailed off, reaching out to grab Isak’s waist, pulling him in even closer. He nuzzled their noses together, feeling Isak’s heart pounding against his chest. “I can’t resist.”

Isak pulled away a little more, looking to the side down the hallway. When he met Even’s gaze again, his brow was furrowed. “What about your parents? Are they home?” He seemed a little worried.

“Nah don’t worry,” Even chuckled, placing his hand up on Isak’s face in order to move it back to face him. “They’re away for the night. We have the place to ourselves.”

“Okay. Uh, that’s chill,” Isak breathed, shoulders sagging with relief.

“That’s chill?” Even repeated, raising his eyebrows. 

Isak’s eyes were wide when he replied, clearly nervous, “Yeah. It’s chill- that we’re alone. We can, uh- be alone and do stuff? Like  _ kiss _ because we don’t have to do anything else, I mean- I’m… just gonna stop talking. Fuck.”

“Isak,” Even laughed, pressing his forehead against Isak’s. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want. We could literally play fifa all night and I would still be happy because I’d be spending time with you.”

“Okay. That’s- yeah? I,” Isak cleared his throat, looking sheepish, “I like fifa.”

“You wanna play that?” Even asked, pulling back slightly, much to the disappointment of Isak, who whined in his throat in protest. 

Isak nodded, a small smile on his lips. “Would it be okay if I borrowed a hoodie first? I wanna get out of this shirt.”

“Of course!” Even pulled back completely, with the exception of their joined hands, and led Isak to the direction of his room. “You want a t-shirt as well?” He threw over his shoulder, meeting Isak’s curious eyes behind him, taking everything in.

“Yeah, thanks,” He said absentmindedly. “Can I?” He made a wide gesture around the room, wanting to take a closer look.

“Go for it,” Even motioned in front of himself, stepping to the side so that Isak could explore. “Just don’t go looking for my secret porn stash I have hidden in here.”

“Secret porn stash, huh? Where you keep all your vore and shit?” Isak teased, walking over to the closet where he found several drawings and other snippets taped to the doors.

“Yeah,” Even teased back, walking over to his dresser in order to grab a clean t-shirt for Isak. “I really love it when people get swallowed whole, you know? It’s so hot.”

Isak snorted. “You’re such an idiot.”

“I’m  _ your  _ idiot, though,” Even said as he turned around, intending to go for a joke, throwing the t-shirt at Isak’s head. It missed by a mile. Isak stood there, a small smile on his face.

“Yeah, mine…” Isak whispered, looking at Even for a long moment before he dropped his gaze and started unbuttoning his shirt. Even was kind of glad that their gazes weren’t locked anymore because that would feel a little too intimate while Isak was undressing and Even’s heart already felt too large for his chest.

He blushed, looking down as well, intending to give Isak a little bit of privacy. “You still want a hoodie?” He asked, turning around to busy himself as Isak pulled his shirt from off his shoulders.

“And a kiss?” Isak blurted, voice an octave higher than usual.

Even spun around, nearly dropping the hoodie that was clutched in his hand. He cleared his throat, attempting to control the blush on his face. “Come here,” he said, his voice a little gruff, but not too bad.

Isak stumbled over his feet in his haste to get to Even, shirt falling carelessly to the ground. “Wanna know a secret?”

Even nearly choked, but managed to keep it in. He’d heard  _ that _ before.

“What’s that?” Even whispered, dropping the hoodie to the ground as well, unable to keep his eyes off of Isak’s bare chest, and then, his face.

Isak smirked and his hand reached up so he could brush his thumb against Even’s cheek. Lips hovering above lips, Isak whispered, “I only asked you for a hoodie so I could wear your clothes and have your smell surround me.”

“You could’ve just asked,” Even replied, unable to stop his voice from becoming way too breathy. “You don’t need to wear my clothes to smell like me.”

“How else would I smell like you?” Isak asked, voice rough.

“You really want me to answer that question?” Even asked, brushing his lips against Isak’s a little harder.

“Please,” Isak whined before capturing Even’s lips in a real kiss.

Even kissed back, feeling his stomach drop as Isak’s soft lips touched his. Isak’s lips were so perfect, even better than in his photos, if that was even possible. There was something about his mouth, and that pouty upper lip that did it for Even. 

When Even pulled back, he rested his forehead against Isak’s, biting his lip softly, before replying, “You just need to wear some of my cologne.”

“Oh my god, Even,” Isak laughed, rolling his eyes, “And where would be the fun in that?” Subtly, he tried to fix his pants that had gotten a little tight. Even chuckled, but he wasn’t really one to talk, seeing as he was in the same boat.

“Nah, you’re right,” Even said, leaning in to nuzzle Isak’s nose once more, because it was just too cute. “Putting on cologne isn’t very exciting. You know what is?”

“What is?” Isak wondered, pulling Even closer by his belt loops so their fronts were lined up.

“We could…” Even trailed off, inhaling sharply as Isak pulled him even closer. “We could play fifa, or watch a movie, or…” Even took a deep breath, “We could do other things?”

Isak hesitated and then took a step back, probably to be able to focus better. “I’m- I hope you don’t think I’m playing you or anything, especially after what we did yesterday. But, uh- this is all new to me and I- I just don’t know if I’m ready for other things? I don’t want you to think I don’t want you because I do- fuck, so much but… I don’t know. Maybe I should just leave.”

“Woah, hold on,” Even said, reaching out to pull Isak back. “We don’t need to do anything, okay? I know what happened yesterday was a huge step, and I get it. Doing these things in the comfort of being behind a phone screen is much different than actually having sex with someone. You don’t need to be ready, I really don’t care about that. I just want to spend time with you, however I can. Like I said before, we could literally play fifa all night, I don’t care about blue balls at all, okay?”

“Blue balls?” A laugh was startled out of Isak but his expression turned serious again a moment later. “It’s just- deep down I know you don’t care about that but my head’s all, he’s had sex already and an actual relationship, he’s so much more experienced than you, what does he even see in you? I’m sorry, I’m a mess.” Isak looked stubbornly at a spot on the ground, chest heaving with heavy breaths.

“Isak, yes, I’ve been in a relationship and have had sex before but.” Even paused for a second, taking a deep breath. “I jumped into it way too quickly. I don’t want something like that to happen with you, because I like you so fucking much. I don’t  _ care  _ that you haven’t had sex before. I can help you with it when the time comes, if you’d like, but I don’t think of you being any lesser than me for having not done something.”

“Okay,” Isak gnawed on his bottom lip, still not quite meeting Even’s gaze when he picked up the t-shirt Even had given him. He quickly put it on and then finally looked back at Even. “Can I kiss you? Can we just… do that for a bit?”

“Of course,” Even said. He smiled at Isak, a small smile, that hopefully, would encourage him to do the same. “Do you wanna lie down for a bit?”

Isak nodded, trying to get some of that ease from earlier back when he joked, “Gotta see if that bunk bed is a deal breaker or not, right?”

“Of course,” Even said, stepping back a little bit and motioning towards his bed. “Lead the way, then.”

Isak raised his eyebrows. “Oh, so I’m gonna,” He made air quotes, “Lead the way… so you can ogle my ass? That’s what’s happening?”

“Yeah?” Even teased, purposefully looking up and down Isak’s body. “It’s not like I just wanted you to settle in first or anything and make yourself comfortable.”

The brightest smile appeared on Isak’s face as he pulled Even in, his back resting against the ladder of the bunk bed and then Isak brought their lips together in a sweet kiss. “God, I like you so much,” He whispered.

Even threaded his fingers into Isak’s hair, kissing back slowly, keeping him in place. “You have no idea how gone I am for you,” he said as they pulled away, rubbing his thumbs along Isak’s soft cheeks.

“If you’re only half as gone for me as I am for you, I think I have a pretty good idea,” Isak shot back, no hesitation, no doubt.

“Don’t make this a competition,” Even teased, giggling slightly. “We’re equally gone for each other, how about that?”

Isak hummed and then smirked, “Okay, fine. But just so you know, if this  _ were _ a competition, I’d totally win. Now… pay attention to my ass while I climb that ladder.”

Even rolled his eyes, trailing his hand down to pinch Isak’s ass. “You know I’ll be watching.”

“Good,” Isak grinned and started climbing, wiggling his ass in Even’s direction purposely. When he reached the top, he sat with his knees pulled up to his chest as he watched Even follow him.

Even wiggled his brows teasingly as he sat down next to Isak, crossing his legs. “Everything’s up to you, babe,” Even said, resting his hands on his knees.

“I love it when you call me that,” Isak mumbled, reaching for Even’s hand to tangle their fingers. “Do you maybe want to cuddle? And kiss?”

“Yes, please,” Even mumbled back, looking at their joined fingers. “Why don’t you come here, then?”

“Big spoon or little spoon?” Isak asked, letting Even lie down before he sidled up to him.

“I’ve only ever big spoon,” Even replied, settling down on his back, his head flopping onto the pillow. “But I think I’m okay with either.”

Isak cuddled into Even’s side - Even figured Isak needed that comfort of being held right now. He lay half on top of Even, who wrapped his arm around him and easily complied when Isak craned his neck for a kiss.

The kiss was gentle, not the intense one that they had shared at the party, but Even still felt the same fluttering sensation in his stomach.

“I know I’ve already told you this,” Even breathed when they broke apart. “But you smell really good.”

“You do too,” Isak smiled, “Makes me feel safe.  _ You _ make me feel safe.”

Even smiled back, leaning in and placing another kiss onto Isak’s lips. “I’m honestly so happy that I found you. I didn’t even realise that I’d been looking for you in the first place.”

Isak leaned up to kiss him a little harder, with a little more purpose. He sounded a bit breathless when he said, “Seriously, thank you. For what you did earlier with Emma and her friend and just- thank you for existing.”

“Don’t worry about them, you know?” Even said, rubbing his hand on Isak’s upper arm. “I know I told that friend off a little bit, but seriously, they’re going to be a blimp on your radar in no time at all.”

“Yeah I try. I mean- yeah, you’re right. Anyway, it was pretty hot how you stood up for me… and how you kissed me afterwards.” Isak’s hand snuck under Even’s shirt, the pads of his fingers pressing against warm skin. “It’s nice to have this,” Isak cleared his throat, “After years of suppressing those feelings. To just be able to touch.”

“I want this,” Even sighed out, shivering at the touch of Isak’s warm fingertips on his bare skin. “I want to experience this with you and tell everyone about the way I feel about you. What do you think about that?”

“I think that would be really nice,” Isak whispered, hesitating a moment before he added, “Does that mean you want to be my boyfriend?”

“Yes,” Even breathed out, as simple as exhaling. 


	21. Saturday 26.05.18 10:45 - The Sound of That

Even woke up slowly, his movements syrupy-slow. He felt oh-so comfortable, the duvet a lovely weight on his chest, perhaps a little too warm, but Even wasn’t fussed. The scent that surrounded him was sweet, for the most part, and a little musky. Was that a faint scent of lavender?

Even nuzzled his nose into the soft fabric of the duvet, the curls giving way under-

Wait a second.

Even opened his eyes, and suddenly, he remembered everything.

The sleeping boy on his chest was not only fucking adorable, but he was also Even’s  _ boyfriend. _

Even pressed a sleepy kiss into Isak’s mussed up hair, giggling slightly as the boy stirred under the ministrations, grumbling under his breath.

“No,” Isak groaned, nuzzling his nose harder against Even’s chest, “No, don’t leave. You’re not going for a run. You promised!” His voice was slow and rough, making Even shiver.

“No, I’m not going for a run, you silly goose,” Even said, clearing his throat slightly at its misuse. “I’m staying in bed all morning and cuddling my gorgeous boyfriend.”

Isak’s eyes slowly fluttered open, a grin spreading on his face. “Boyfriend,” He hummed, leaning up to press a quick kiss to Even’s lips. “I like the sound of that.”

“I do too,” Even replied, pursing his lips out for another kiss. “Even though he has morning breath.”

“He? Who’s he?” Isak wondered, brain still slow from sleep, “Wait, you’re talking about me?”

“No, my other boyfriend,” Even deadpanned, rubbing Isak’s arm. “He’s about your height… blonde hair…”

Isak giggled. “And has bad breath. I’d break up with him. I never get morning breath.”

“Exactly,” Even agreed, pressing another quick kiss to Isak’s lips. “Your breath always smells like peaches.”

“Yep. You got yourself a pretty great boyfriend. Now…” Isak sat up, and crawled over Even, “I gotta go to the bathroom so I can completely enjoy cuddling my equally as awesome boyfriend after.”

“I do have a pretty great boyfriend,” Even mused, training his gaze up as Isak sat up, placing his hand on Isak’s thigh. “Even though he is stinky.”

Isak put on an offended expression. “And here I was about to offer you to join me in the shower. But you’re way too rude.” But he actually made no move to leave the bed yet.

“Wait!” Even arched his back slightly, stretching out his slightly stiff arm for the first time. “I’ll join you in the shower!”

“Too late, babe,” Isak teased, a smirk on his lips.

“C’mere,” Even teased, reaching out and grabbing Isak’s waist, attempting to pull him down back to Even’s height. 

Isak went willingly, moving around until he was straddling Even. And then they were kissing, morning breath be damned.

“Mmh,” Even hummed, trailing his hands down so that they were grasping onto Isak’s upper thighs, supporting him. He didn’t even care that they both probably smelled a little too much like stale beer. It was the way that Isak’s lips were moving against his, encasing Even’s upper lip, moving his hands on each side of Even’s head to support himself that made everything else pause for a second, even showers.

“Fuck,” Isak groaned, breath heavy against Even’s lips, “Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I’d be right here with you right now.”

“Baby, you’re going to make me hard if you keep saying stuff like that,” Even whined, unable to keep his eyes off the flush on Isak’s cheeks. Despite this, Even already felt the tell-tale tightening of his pants, and he cursed his hormones.

“Maybe I want to make you hard,” Isak winked at him and then, because he was a fucking tease, actually moved down the ladder.

Even groaned, staring up at the ceiling for a second before turning his gaze to Isak, who was at the foot of the ladder.

“Go take a shower, smelly boy,” Even said, turning his body to the side completely, nuzzling his nose into his pillow.

“That nickname shouldn’t turn me on that much,” Isak laughed before heading for the door, opening it an inch and peeking out. When he presumably found the hallway empty, he sneaked out to the bathroom.

“Is that another kink?!” Even called out teasingly, giggling at Isak’s frustrated yell from the hallway. 

Even turned to look up at the ceiling once again.

Fucking hell.  _ Fucking  _ Isak. 


	22. Sunday 27.05.18 13:00 - The Love In Things

Even was still lying on his bed in shock. After everything, he didn’t understand how Isak could just shut him out like that. 

Perhaps it was Even. Perhaps it was the fact that Even hadn’t told Isak yet, and so Isak felt that he couldn’t trust him. He  _ could  _ trust Even. Even just needed to prove that. 

“Even?” Called out a voice from the doorway, soft feminine.

“Hei, mum,” Even sighed, lifting his head and indicating with a nod that she could come in.

“You’re not with Isak anymore?” She noted, sitting on the edge of his bed. Even sat up, facing his mother but not looking her in the eyes. 

“No,” Even said, shrugging his shoulders. “He went home.”

“He’s really nice,” she continued, ducking her head down in order to try and meet Even’s eyes. “You should invite him back.”

“Mamma?” Even looked into her eyes, swallowing down the lump in his throat. 

“Yes?” 

“Isak is my boyfriend,” Even rushed out, and suddenly, it was as if a weigh that he hadn’t even known existed lifted off his shoulders.

When he looked up, his mum was smiling. 

“That’s wonderful, Even,” she smiled, nodding once. “That’s really wonderful.”

“I’m not gay though,” Even blurted, and then cursed himself. “Well obviously I’m a little gay but like, I’m pansexual, which means that I like people regardless of gender and I don’t want you to think that my relationship with Sonja was fake or-“

“Even, sweetie,” his mum interrupted, a smile large on her face. “That’s one of my favourite things about you. You love people, and you find the love in things. I may be a bit biased because I am your mother, but trust me when I say this; It’s people like you who make the world spin around. You love and you are loved. I want you to know that.”

“I love you,” Even gasped, leaning to hug his mother. Even though she was much smaller than him, they both made it work. 

“And I love you too,” Liv replied, rubbing gently between shoulder blades. “I always have and I always will.”


	23. Sunday 27.05.18 15:49 - Forget about the world

Isak gasped for air when he reached the kebab place they had decided to meet at. He had ran there because while a couple hours earlier, he hadn’t wanted to see anyone and had been absolutely awful to Even, now it felt like he needed to see Even like he needed air to breathe.

Even was already waiting for him, looking nervous. Isak absolutely hated it. He did that to him. Not giving either of them a chance to say anything, Isak stumbled forward and crashed right against Even’s chest and into his arms. A sob left his throat as he pressed his face against the fabric of Even’s shirt.

“Hi,” Even murmured, immediately wrapping his arms around Isak’s shoulders. Isak immediately felt shielded, protected from the world. The world that was out to get him. His mother, who oh so naively thought that his dad would never leave her again. It was Emma, a seemingly tiny blimp on his radar, who took Isak’s entire identity and somehow managed to make a joke out of it. It was everything, except for Even. Even, who wrapped him up in his arms, and unknowingly, managed to protect Isak from all of it. That was all that Isak needed.

“I’m so sorry,” Isak whispered, even though Even had told him he had nothing to apologise for. But he had been an asshole, he knew that, and Even hadn’t deserved Isak treating him like shit.

“It’s okay,” Even breathed, nuzzling his nose into Isak’s messy, windswept curls. “What’s going on, baby?”

Being called ‘baby’ made Isak feel warm as it always did, but this time, it also made him feel even more guilty. “It’s really not okay,” He croaked, “I’m good at hiding shit from the people that care about me. Jonas keeps telling me. And I- just yesterday I told you I didn’t feel like I had to hide anything from you and still I did. I’m sorry. I don’t wanna hide from you, Even. Never.”

“I know,” Even replied, his voice earnest, his beautiful eyes honest. “And so I’m wondering what could have possibly happened that made you think that needed to change.”

Isak didn’t even know where to start. So instead he suggested, “Wanna go inside? I’ll tell you while we eat.” That bought him some time to sort his messed up thoughts.

“Kebabs solve everything,” Even mused, pulling back from the hug slightly, and looking Isak right in the eyes. “Can I at least get a kiss before our breaths are too onion-y?”

“They do? Damn, I wish someone would have told me earlier. You definitely deserve a kiss for that.” Isak smiled a little, grateful that they could joke at least a little bit like they usually did. And then he craned his neck, hand going to Even’s cheek and he pressed their lips together. It was a relief to be kissing Even and Isak was glad he had changed his mind about meeting Even after all.

“Mmh,” Even murmured, his lips warm and comforting against Isak’s. 

“I missed you,” Isak whispered and he felt the confession in his bones. He wished Even could have been with him this morning, right by his side as he got through the church service and then lunch with his mum where she let him know about his dad’s plans and how everything had shattered then.

“I missed you too,” Even whispered back, nudging their noses together in the way that always made Isak’s heart skip a beat or two. 

  
  


They walked into the shop hand in hand, not really talking while they order their kebabs. “Wanna go to the nearby park?” Isak asked, still needing more time.

“Yeah, sure,” Even shrugged, jostling the kebab in his free hand dangerously. “Probably not the most romantic of places, to be honest.”

“I mean the conversation we’re gonna have isn’t gonna be romantic either,” Isak mumbled before adding a little louder, “I kinda suck at this romantic date thing, huh?”

“You definitely don’t,” Even argued, nudging Isak’s shoulder lightly, not enough for him to drop his kebab. “You know how to romance the fuck out of me.”

“What is it with your romance kink?” Isak huffed a laugh, the tension in his shoulders lifting a little more. He leaned in to press a kiss to Even’s cheek, smiling at the way that made Even light up. 

Even laughed, throwing his head back as Isak pulled away from the kiss. “You’re never going to let that go, are you?”

“Well…” Isak pretended to think about it, “No. You got yourself into that one.”

“I mean…” Even trailed off for a second, turning to meet Isak’s gaze with a wide grin on his face. “Not yet I haven’t.”

Isak almost threw his kebab away with how surprised he was by Even’s comment. He just kind of gaped at Even for a second as his brain really caught up with Even’s words and then he burst into laughter. “Oh my god, Even,” He gasped, tears springing to his eyes with how much he was laughing. It made him feel freer than he had since leaving Even’s flat yesterday. He appreciated Even so much. “You’re unbelievable,” He murmured, and there was so much fondness in his voice that Even just had to hear it. Had to hear how much Even meant to him.

“I like hearing you laugh,” Even murmured, his voice suddenly soft. “It’s a good look on you.” 

Isak stopped in his tracks, looking up at the boy in front of him.

Warmth spread in Isak’s chest. Before he could say something that was too early to be said, he shot back, “You’re a good look on me.”

Even blushed, a light pink on his cheekbones. “Let’s sit down,” he offered, nodding his head over to the bench to their left.

The lump in Isak’s throat that had dissipated was back again as he sat down, scooting close to Even right away. He couldn’t look at Even anymore, fully focusing on eating his kebab.

“Isak?” Even’s voice brought Isak to the present again, the lump traveling down his esophagus like the kebab he was eating. “What’s going on?”

“I didn’t tell my mum,” He finally blurted out, feeling the shame wash over him again. Even had been so proud of him and he hadn’t been able to tell his mother about that part of him. “I didn’t tell her I’m- that I’m gay.”

“That’s okay,” Even murmured beside him, throwing his free arm around Isak’s shoulders. “You don’t need to tell her right away. It’s okay to back out of these things.”

Isak shook his head vehemently, tears brimming his eyes. “I wanted it so bad, Even. I wanted to tell her about you and tell her how happy I’m with you. But- we went to church and I remembered how she always sent me those passages from the bible and how- she’d hate me.”

“Baby,” Even said, his voice hoarse. “I’m so sorry that you had to go through that. She hasn’t changed since then?”

Isak shrugged, sinking against Even. “I don’t know,” He sighed, “I don’t know who she is nowadays. And anyway, she told me about dad planning to come back home and how happy she was about that. But she- it’ll ruin her. Dad will just leave again and it will destroy her. And I can’t do anything and I don’t wanna put  _ that _ on her too. Everything’s just a big fucking mess.”

“Okay,” Even sighed, putting his kebab beside him, away from Isak, and then grabbing Isak’s kebab from his lap, moving that to the side as well. Even fully turned towards him, reaching up with his free hand to gently stroke Isak’s cheek. “I know that you don’t want to burden her, baby. There is no expiration date on when you should come out. Sometimes, though, you have to be  _ you.  _ You’re at a good position in your life, you’ve moved out, you’re independant, and you’re almost done with school. Not everyone is going to like us, but I don’t want that to hold you back,  _ ever.  _ I’m really sorry to hear that things aren’t going well for her right now, but you need to live too.”

Isak wiped the tears from his eyes. “I feel the most me when I’m with you,” He mumbled. “I just want to- for once I don’t want to feel so fucking useless. But I don’t know how to help her. And I wish my dad would just fuck off. He  _ promised _ he wouldn’t come back. That he wouldn’t do that to her again.”

“Baby,” Even murmured, wiping the stray tear from Isak’s cheek. “You can only help her so much. You can help with the situation with your dad, but ultimately, only she can help herself. If she refuses, then that isn’t your responsibility.”

“Okay,” Isak nodded. He understood what Even was saying but he wasn’t sure he could apply that to himself. All he ever did was give up on his mother, he couldn’t do that anymore though. “Can you hold me for a little bit?”

“Of course,” Even said, leaning back, giving Isak the chance to snuggle into his chest. “For the record, it  _ is  _ possible to get better, even if things are feeling hopeless.”

Isak inhaled deeply, letting Even’s scent calm him. “Yeah?” Isak’s voice sounded pathetically hopeful, “What makes you so sure?”

Even took a deep breath, and to Isak’s confusion, his heart rate began speeding up under Isak’s ear. “Because I’ve done it.”

“Oh?” Was all Isak could get out. He didn’t want to assume anything and just hoped Even would clear this up more.

“Yeah,” Even confirmed, taking in another shuddering breath. “I don’t pretend to know what it’s like to experience what your mum does but, I know what it’s like to not feel in control of your own mind.”

Isak furrowed his brow, fear clutching at his heart. And worry. “Are you okay?” He raised his head a little to peek up at Even, wrapping his arms around Even’s waist.

“I’m okay right now,” Even nodded, looking down but not quite meeting Isak’s gaze. “You know that teenage angst that we’ve talked about?”

“Yeah? What about it?” He almost couldn’t get the words out with how much dread was suddenly filling him.

“Have you ever heard of…” Even trailed off, biting his bottom lip. “Do you know what mania means?”

Isak swore his heart stopped beating. There it was. “I’ve read about it,” He mumbled, holding on to Even tighter. He had read up on a lot of stuff while he had tried to figure out what his mother was suffering from and how he could help her without her wanting to see a therapist.

“What,” Even stopped, hesitating slightly. Isak wanted to hug him and never let go. “What have you read about it?”

Isak tried to remember the articles he had read about mania but it was clear pretty fast that his mother wasn’t having manic episodes so he didn’t read up more on it. “There’s manic and depressive episodes, right? I’m sorry, I don’t know a lot about it.”

“That’s okay,” Even replied, his grip on Isak becoming a little more lax. “You got the gist of it. What do you think about that?”

Isak carefully thought about his words before he answered. “So,” He cleared his throat, “You get them? Mania and depression?”

“The current word for it is bipolar, but yeah,” Even said, his voice so shaky that it was breaking Isak’s heart. 

“Fuck,” He blurted, “Have you lived with it all your life?”

“No,” Even shrugged, training his gaze in front of him on nothing in particular. “I was officially diagnosed in my last year of high school. Before that we just thought it was depression.”

Isak had about a million questions but he was also so fucking exhausted. “I’m sorry,” He said for the millionth time that day but it just felt useless. “Can we- can we go back to your place? Can I stay the night? I think we could both use some cuddles.”

“You still want to?” Even turned back to Isak, his eyebrows raised in genuine shock. “Even though I’m…” He trailed off, swallowing audibly.

“Of course!” Isak exclaimed without hesitation. Everything was a mess but the one thing he was sure of was Even. “I told you I think your mind is beautiful and I still think that.  _ Everything _ about you is beautiful.”

“It’s not always beautiful,” Even argued, albeit rather weakly, as he relaxed back into Isak’s embrace. “Sometimes it’s really fucking scary.”

“You’re beautiful,” Isak repeated confidently. He knew that it could get scary, had been through every scenario with his mother but he knew it would be different with Even. Even let himself be helped and no matter how bad it was going to be, Isak wanted to be there for him. “And you’re not alone, okay?” Isak pulled Even in for a soft kiss, hoping Even could feel and see that Isak wasn’t just going to give up on them because of that.

“Neither are you,” Even whispered, his eyelashes fluttering gently against Isak’s cheeks as he kissed Isak back. His eyes were open and vulnerable in a way that Isak had never seen them before. “Can we please go back to my place?”

“Yes, let’s go. Let’s just cuddle and kiss for a while and forget about the world.”


	24. Monday 28.05.18 18:35 - Safe

Even’s feet were sore.

It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy working at KB, after all, it filled the loose ends that modelling couldn’t. However, after a long shift, Even wanted nothing more than to lie back for the rest of the night. He didn’t want to cook dinner either. He just wanted to come back to Isak, who had skipped classes today, claiming “he didn’t need them now that exams were over.”

“Hallo?!” He called out as he opened the front door. There was no response, however, he heard his mother's laughter in the kitchen, and the sound of Gabrielle playing. Immediately, Even sighed in relief, because she was cooking.

He toed off his shoes quickly, setting his bag down at the foot of the door and trudging over quickly to the kitchen. After grabbing dinner for he and Isak, he’d go back into his room and cuddle the shit-

Wait a second.

Even froze in the doorway when he spotted his boyfriend right along his mother in the kitchen. Twirling her around to the beat of Fem Fine Frøkner, both of them laughing. “Turn one more time, Liv! Yes, awesome and now the grand fin- fuck, I think something’s burning.” They hurried to check on the food on the stove and Even figured now was a good time to announce his presence.

“Halla,” Even called out, a large smile on his face. Immediately, Isak froze, letting go of Even’s  mother. 

“Hei, love,” his mum said absentmindedly, still tending to the stove.

“Hei, mamma,” Even said, slowly shuffling forward to his blushing boyfriend.

“Your family is obsessed with Gabrielle,” He teased, a big smile on his face. After the emotional day yesterday, it was a relief to see Isak this happy again.

“Nei, I think that’s you, baby,” Even teased back, reaching out to rest his hands on Isak’s waist, pecking him softly on the lips.

Immediately, Isak’s eyes widened and he pulled away from the kiss, shooting Liv a quick glance before looking back at Even curiously.

“Oh, don’t mind me here,” his mum chuckled, turning back towards the stovetop. “I just love seeing my son happy.”

The expression on Isak’s face was priceless. “Wait- you knew? All day?” He screeched, jaw dropped as he stared at Even’s mother.

Even laughed loudly. “Yes, baby,” he replied, as his mother nodded. “I told her yesterday.”

“In my defense, though,” she said, waving the wooden spoon in Even’s face jokingly. “I put two and two together the morning I got home and found clothes that weren’t Even’s on the ground.”

Isak spluttered, his face beet red when he assured her, “Not for reasons you might think! We didn’t…” He trailed off embarrassed.

“Shush,” Even chuckled, wrapping his arms around his adorable boyfriend once more, placing a quick kiss to his temple. “She doesn’t care.”

“That’s right!” Even’s mum exclaimed, now stirring the pot with her spoon. “I don’t care what you two do, as long as you’re safe about it. Oh! Also, Even, I think we have some spare condoms-”

“Mum!” Even interrupted, now feeling his own face flush. “You’re going to scare him away!”

At that, Isak laughed. “Even,” He said deadpan, “You were the one who thought I’d jerk off in your shower with your parents there. You don’t have to worry about her scaring me away, believe me.”

“You’d jerk off anywhere, though,” Even whispered in Isak’s ear, not wanting to embarrass him too much. “What else should I have believed?”

“You’re such a liar, oh my god,” Isak groaned and for a second it seemed he wanted to go in for a kiss but then thought better of it because of Liv.

Even wasn’t having it, however, grabbing Isak’s chin and kissing his gorgeous boyfriend. “Whatever gets you off, baby,” he teased, throwing in a wink for good measure.

Isak pulled away with a smirk. “Hopefully you,” He whispered before darting off to Even’s room. It was probably a good idea that they made their exit now since Liv definitely didn’t want to see what their teasing would probably lead to.

Even rolled his eyes, and then turned to her.

“He’s sweet,” she said, winking at him. “I like him.”

“I like him too,” Even replied, sighing. His mum nudged his shoulder.

“Go get him then,” she grinned, giving his shoulder a push for good measure. “I’ll let you know when dinner is ready.”

But Even was already gone, throwing a quick, “thanks, mum!” over his shoulder, before bounding down to his bedroom, ready to greet Isak properly.


	25. Tuesday 29.05.18 11:36 - Hopelessly devoted

Isak could have been outside five minutes earlier if it hadn’t been for Julian fucking Dahl who had roped him into some kind of awkward smalltalk that Isak couldn’t even remember anymore what they had talked about.

So now he hurried out of the building and from afar, he could already spot Even, leaning against the gate. He was a vision in his denim jacket, hands casually in the pockets of his jeans and his sunglasses tucked into his hair.

He was talking to- Sana? And he had the absolutely most beautiful smile on his face, making Isak’s heart skip a beat.

Isak seriously had no idea how he had gotten so lucky with that boy.

Slowly, he approached them, a big smile of his own on his lips. “Halla,” He greeted them happily, leaving it up to Even if they were going to greet each other properly with a kiss.

Even turned to Isak’s voice, his smile never leaving his face. “Halla!” He exclaimed, reaching out and making grabby hands at Isak, and okay, how fucking cute. Even was leaving it up to Isak to see how comfortable he was? Fucking  _ adorable. _

Of course the only option here was to reach out for Even and tug him in by the waist, pressing a smiley kiss to Even’s lips while he heard Sana say next to them, “You two are fucking gross!”

Isak turned around, his back pressed to Even’s chest as he raised his eyebrows at Sana. “ _ You _ are rude for not introducing me to this amazing human being earlier!”

“Why would I want to introduce you to my idiot brother and his friends?” Sana retorted, to which Even immediately protested, “Hey!”

“Not you, Even,” Sana corrected, unable to even keep the smile off her face.

“Well, maybe because I could have met the man of my dreams a lot earlier that way?” Isak pointed out.

Sana rolled her eyes, but the smile on her lips was fond. “You guys are hopeless!”

“Mmh,” Even agreed, wrapping his arms a little bit tighter around Isak’s shoulders. _ “Hopelessly devoted to you.” _

Sana shook her head, muttering, “hopeless” again before she told them louder, “Alright, that’s my cue to leave. See you in biology, Isak.”

“Bye Sana. And uh- I’m kinda leaving with Even so…” He shrugged, grinning at her. And before she could even scold him for skipping school, he turned in Even’s embrace and wrapped his arms around his neck. “Hopelessly devoted, huh?” He mumbled, their lips only millimetres apart.

“It’s from Grease,” Even replied, leaning in to press another sweet kiss to Isak’s lips. “And I thought it worked perfectly.”

Isak pulled away slightly, putting on an offended expression. “So you’re not actually devoted to me? You just saw a movie moment and took it?” He accused but was already giggling a second later.

“Nei,” Even protested, jutting out his lower lip into a pout. “If you’re able to quote a movie  _ and  _ confess your feelings to someone then it’s twice as good.”

“Oh, is it? I think it’s pretty sexy if someone can just admit their feelings, movie quote or not. Now… should we get out of here?” Isak kissed Even again because he just couldn’t get enough and then pulled away but linked their fingers as he did so.

“Fine,” Even murmured, leaning in to press one last kiss against Isak’s cheek. “Let’s go, skipper.”

Isak grinned, “I’m the master of skipping. You won’t regret enabling this kind of behaviour. We’ll have an awesome day!”

“Of course we will, baby,” Even replied, swinging their hands together as Isak led them out of the school. “As long as I’m with you.”


	26. Wednesday 30.05.18 12:14 - His responsibility

Isak tried to remember how to just _breathe_.

But with the knowledge he now had looming over him, that was harder to achieve than it should be.

Ever since his mother had told him that his dad was going to move back in with her, he had tried to figure out a way to stop that. Another thing that was harder to achieve than it should be. But he had thought he had time.

Now Isak had two messages from his parents on his phone; one from his mother who excitedly told him about his dad moving back in _on Monday,_ and one from his father having the audacity to ask Isak to move back in with them as well so they could be a “real family” again.

Isak wanted to throw up.

The worst part was that he actually considered it. If only to be there for his mother. No matter what he had gone through, how hard it had been and how much it had fucked him up, maybe that was his responsibility.

Was there anything else he could do?

Isak wondered if he could just call Even, ask him to take him to a faraway place where he didn’t have to worry about his fucked up family situation. On the other hand, he worried that if Even found out about Isak not wanting to move back in with his parents, Even would think it had something to do with Isak’s mother’s mental illness and yet another part of him wondered what would happen to him and Even if he moved back into his childhood home - a place that had never _actually_ felt like home - and he couldn’t come out to his parents. He’d have to keep Even a secret; he’d have to live a fake life again.

None of that was what he truly wanted. He just wanted for everything to stay like it was now: the kollektiv his home and family, his friends knowing the real him and Even making him as happy as he’d never been before.


	27. Wednesday 30.05.18 15:35 - Big plans

To say that Even was nervous was an understatement.

However, he’d put it out there. Isak knew exactly what he wanted. Isak wanted it too.

Even just needed to keep reminding himself of that. Besides, they’d already done  _ things.  _ Sure, it was over text, but the same feelings were all there.

Even didn’t really have anything to be nervous about. Despite the fact that this was technically the first time he’d ever done anything remotely sexual with another boy, it wasn’t his first time having sex. 

Even imagined that Isak would be more nervous. He had no reason to, but it was his first time, period. 

And so when the doorbell rang, Even swallowed his nerves. He was the one with more experience. It was up to him to make sure that Isak felt comfortable and safe. 

When Even opened the door and took in his boyfriend, with excitement and nervousness written all over his face, Even suddenly felt a little bit better.

“Halla,” Even said, leaning against the doorframe in what he hoped was casual.

“Halla,” Isak replied, a hitch in his voice. He gnawed on his bottom lip nervously as his gaze flickered across Even’s face.

“Do you wanna…” Even hesitated for a moment. “Do you wanna come in?” He turned to the side, giving Isak space to brush past him.

But instead of just stepping inside, Isak took a deep breath and then reached for Even, pressing their lips together.

“Hi,” Even mumbled against Isak’s lips, insistent and adorable. He reached up to caress both of Isak’s cheeks, attempting to slow the kiss down as Isak’s tongue began tracing his lower lip.

“It’s so good to see you,” Isak mumbled, smiling into the kiss. He brushed his fingers gently through Even’s hair.

“Ditto.” Even hummed at the feeling of Isak’s blunt nails lightly scratching at his scalp. “Do you want anything to eat or drink?” Even pulled away from the kiss, giving Isak the room to speak.

Isak nodded, “Okay. Yeah. I actually haven’t eaten a lot today…”

“Tell you what,” Even said, pressing another quick peck to Isak’s lips. “I’ve got some weed, I can make us some cheese toasties, and then we can just chill. How does that sound?”

Isak’s answering grin was broad. “That sounds perfect!” 

And so they ate cheese toasties, that were perhaps a little gross, but Even didn’t care. They smoked at his windowsill, careful to not let the smell linger for when Even’s parents came back home.

And when they finally migrated back to Even’s bed, he could practically hear the pounding of Isak’s heart against his chest.

“Everything okay?” Even mumbled, leaning in close and nuzzling his nose against Isak’s.

There was a deep blush on Isak’s cheeks, it was absolutely adorable. “I’m a little nervous,” He whispered - which obviously was a huge understatement - and then laughed, “I’m gonna have my first time in a bunk bed!”

“You’re seriously thinking about bunk beds right now?” Even laughed, burying his face into Isak’s neck, his lips lightly brushing the soft skin there. 

“I mean… yes? We’re going to-” His gaze dropped to the side, his voice small suddenly, “Have sex in one.”

“Okay, first of all,” Even popped his head back up, tilting Isak’s chin so that their eyes met. “You aren’t obligated to do anything that you don’t want to do. Second of all, I’m kinda nervous too.”

Isak shook his head, eyes wide. “I want to! I really, really want to. But… why are  _ you _ nervous? You’re like…” He trailed off, waving his arms around helplessly.

“I’m like, what?” Even giggled, ducking his head at the onslaught of teenaged boy-limbs.

“You’re really fucking amazing,” Isak mumbled bashfully.

“Um, no,” Even said, gently tilting Isak’s head up once more, as Isak had ducked is head down again. “You’re amazing. I think you’re so brave, and strong, and so fucking sexy.”

“You should really just accept my compliments for once,” Isak grinned, wrapping his arms around Even. “Now kiss me.”

“If I  _ have _ to,” Even mumbled, leaning in once more, resting his forehead on Isak’s. “And don’t worry babe, we can take this as slow as you want, we have all night.”

Even knew that Isak wanted to be kissed, but he had to say that. He wanted Isak to control everything tonight. He wanted Isak to get a taste of just how fun and amazing sex can be, and just how equal it truly was.

“All night…” Isak mused, “You’ve got big plans, huh?”

“Whatever you want, babe,” Even whispered, and finally, he kissed Isak.

He allowed himself to get lost in it, to feel Isak’s warm breath hitting his face, to feel his racing heart under Even’s palm. He allowed himself to  _ feel,  _ and that was it. No worrying about the future, and rather, staying in the moment with his boyfriend.

Isak seemed to fall into the kiss just as much. While his heart kept beating frantically, his shoulders relaxed; he wasn’t only falling into the kiss, he was falling into Even, giving himself completely to him.

“So…” Even trailed off as their lips parted momentarily. “What do you want to do, then?”

“Uhh… sex? That’s what we’re here for, right?” Isak blurted, cheeks red.

“Okay,” Even rolled his eyes teasingly, brushing his fingers across Isak’s cheekbone. “There are plenty of  _ things _ that we can do… Like, how far are you wanting to go?”

Isak averted his gaze again. “I…” He fumbled with the hem of his shirt nervously, “You could… I don’t know, if you want you could do what we did when we… on the phone.”

“So…” Even pondered, feeling his face flush a little bit. “Handjobs, then? Blowjobs?”

“Yes?” Isak sounded breathless.

“Which one?” Even asked, feeling his own voice go a little breathless.

Suddenly, Isak looked back at Even again, his eyes wide and earnest. “What would  _ you _ like to do?”

“I want to do everything with you,” Even replied. “But to start, I’d like to try either one, depending on how comfortable you are.”

“I think I’m comfortable with both. We could just… start? And see where it goes?” Isak suggested sheepishly.

“Okay,” Even replied, and then, waggled his eyebrows as he leaned in to kiss Isak once more.

Before they could really get into the kiss, Isak asked, “Should I… take my clothes off?”

“How about I take them off for you?” Even mumbled, pressing little kisses onto Isak’s face, his cheeks, and onto the corners of his mouth.

“Okay,” Isak breathed and little giggles left his lips at the onslaught of kisses to his face. 

“Okay,” Even breathed out as well, as he finally leaned in for a real kiss, deep and passionate, tugging slightly at the ends of Isak’s hair.

Isak sighed into the kiss, his hands sliding around Even to rest against the small of his back. There wasn’t a single bit of space between them and despite both of them radiating nervousness, Even felt how aroused Isak already was and Even himself wasn’t doing any better. 

He felt Isak pressing his chest into Even’s in slow, barely there movements. He pressed back, feeling the heat in his lower stomach start to stir, despite the fact that not much was happening.

“This okay?” Even asked, mumbled against Isak’s red and spit-slicked lips.

“Perfect,” Isak gasped, his hands travelling under Even’s shirt, pressing against Even’s heated skin, “You’re so perfect.”

“That’s you,” Even replied, shivering under Isak’s roaming hands, although he was not cold. 

“What did I say about you just taking a compliment for once?” Isak giggled. His hands moved down Even’s back again and then he tugged on the shirt and pulled it over Even’s head. It made Even’s hair stand in every which direction and while he tried to tame it a little bit, Isak managed to turn them around so he was no straddling Even.

Even stared up at him wide-eyed, his heart pounding in his chest. Isak took a moment to just watch Even with an intense gaze. And then, with a feathery touch, his fingers started dancing across Even’s chest, leaving behind a trail of goosebumps. “You’re so perfect,” Isak repeated, his fingers at the waistband of Even’s jeans as he leaned down to press a kiss to the centre of Even’s chest, slightly to the left, right where his heart was pounding.

Even bit his lip in response, grabbing lightly onto Isak’s shoulders, bunching up the fabric by the collar of his shirt.

“Can I take this off?” Even gasped, as Isak’s tongue lightly traced the area of Even’s chest that he had just kissed.

Isak leaned back a little, staring at Even’s face. His pupils were blown wide and it seemed like he needed a moment to understand what Even had just said. When he did, he sat up quickly, while he was already tugging on his shirt. Except that he was so eager that he didn’t consider they were still in a bunk bed and how tall he was so he knocked his head right into the ceiling.

“Isak!” Even giggled as Isak moaned in displeasure, rubbing the top of his head. “Are you okay?”

“Fucking bunk bed,” Isak groaned, closing his eyes for a second, “It’s definitely not as exciting as it was when I was ten years old.”

“Is this not exciting enough for you?” Even murmured, biting back a smirk as he trailed his hand lightly down Isak’s chest, to his stomach, but not any lower. 

Isak’s breath caught in his throat. “It’s very exciting,” He mumbled, his eyes fixed to Even’s hand on his chest, “But next time we’re gonna do this in my bed where I can’t get a concussion.”

“Sounds good,” Even replied, and then, trailed his hand a little lower. “Can I?” He asked, nodding to his hand, which was on Isak’s lower stomach.

All Isak could do was nod, chest heaving and eyes unblinkingly on every tiny movement of Even’s hand.

Even trailed his hand just that little bit lower, and gently resting it on Isak’s cock. He rubbed his hand in slow motions, through Isak’s jeans, but his eyes were on Isak’s face, gauging every last detail.

“Fuck, Even,” Isak moaned, eyelids fluttering. His lips were slightly parted and there was a deep blush high on his cheeks. He looked absolutely, breathtakingly gorgeous.

“Yeah?” Even murmured, taking in the hitched stutters in Isak’s breaths. With his other hand, he began to undo the button on Isak’s jeans slowly, making sure to never take his eyes off his boyfriend. “This okay?”

Isak nodded jerkily. “More,” He begged before leaning down to seal their lips back together.

Even kissed back almost desperately, taking his hand off Isak’s bulge quickly in order to completely undo the button, and pulling down the fly.

“Isak,” he moaned against insistent lips, unable to stop himself from sliding his tongue against Isak’s. “Can I take your pants off?”

“Yes, fuck, please,” Isak stumbled over his words.

With that, Even leaned up, almost to a sitting up completely, and placed his hands on Isak’s waist in order to support him as he flipped their positions.

Isak landed on the pillow with a grunt, arching his back slightly against the mattress. Even climbed up onto his knees, and ran his hands up and down Isak’s thighs.

“Still want me to?” Even teased, kneeling in closer as he spread Isak’s thighs a little wider.

“ _ Even _ ,” Isak panted, tugging on his hair in frustration, “ _ Yes _ , still want you.”

“Okay then,” Even smiled, looking down at Isak’s flushed chest, biting his lip. He brought his hands up to Isak’s waistband, and finally, began to pull the fabric down Isak’s thighs.

Isak threw his arm over his eyes, hiding his face in the crook of his elbow as tiny moans left his lips. The jeans bunched down at Isak’s calves, and Even giggled a little, pulling them from Isak’s feet, tugging roughly at the denim. 

“I love hearing your laugh,” Isak confessed, voice muffled against his arm where he kept hiding his face.

“Thanks,” Even mused, as he ran his hands up Isak’s calves, up his thighs, pushing them apart so that he could settle between them. Even sat back on his haunches, and tilted his head, never keeping his eyes off of the beautiful man below him. “And I love hearing you moan.” Even finally pressed his hand into the bulge in Isak’s boxers, this time much more pronounced, running his thumb against the head. Even may have never had sex with another guy before, but he at least knew what felt good on himself.

“Even,” Isak whined, finally taking his arm away from his face so Even could watch all of him again. “I need you to- I need you. Fuck.” His hips bucked up into Even’s touch, desperately wanting more.

“You need me to..?” Even trailed off, his other hand holding Isak’s hips down to the bed as he lowered himself down, pressing small kisses onto Isak’s collarbones.

Isak buried one hand in Even’s hair, tugging a little on it. “Need you to  _ do _ something,” He moaned, unable to stop the small movements of his hips.

“Hm,” Even moaned as his hair was pulled. He began to trail his kisses down Isak’s chest and stomach. When he reached the waistband of Isak’s boxers, he hesitated. “I’ve never done this part, just warning you.”

“Neither have I,” Isak breathed but then his eyes found Even’s and he told him seriously, “You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“I know.” Even halted the movements of his hand, leaving it resting motionless. “I want to, though.”

Even began massaging Isak again, smiling to himself as Isak’s breathing began picking up once more above him. “Is it okay if I take these off?”

“Okay. God, Even… do you have any idea how hot it is that you keep asking if I’m okay with these things?” Isak whined, biting his lip as he arched his back, grunting in frustration as Even held his hips down with his spare hand.

“I just want to make sure that you’re okay with this,” Even replied, his voice hoarse, as he finally tugged down Isak’s boxers, reveling in the way that the head was shiny with precome, and the way that it slapped up against Isak’s stomach as Even pulled it down his thighs.

Isak was shivering all over, if from nerves or arousal, Even couldn’t tell. Maybe a little bit of both. “So okay with this,” Isak moaned, bunching the sheets in his fists.

“Good,” Even whispered, not even fully taking Isak’s boxers off his legs, because he couldn’t help himself. Not when Isak laid there, flushed and hard, ready to go. Even swallowed down his nerves, and pressed his lips gently to the head of Isak’s cock, moaning at the taste of precome that hit his lips.

“Oh my god, Even, you feel so fucking good,” Isak breathed, and Even could feel how hard Isak was trying not to move. His stomach was quivering, his thighs shaking under Even’s chest, but he stayed still, held his breath, as Even finally lowered his head. He was mindful of his teeth, of course, taking in deep breaths as he swallowed down on Isak’s cock, feeling it twitch in Even’s mouth.

A string of curses left Isak’s lips before he panted out, “Better than anything I ever imagined.” 

Even popped off, letting out a moan at the wet noise that it produced. “Yeah?” he mumbled, looking up at Isak’s eyes, pupils blown wide, as he began trailing wet kisses down the length of Isak’s cock. “Just want to make you feel good.”

“So good. Don’t ever wanna do this with anyone else,” Isak whispered, disentangling his fingers from where he was still grabbing the sheets and gently carding them through Even’s hair instead.

“Good,” Even replied, still keeping the eye contact, because he knew that was what he liked, and then sinking down again. He felt Isak’s cock twitch again, as Even sunk further down this time, as far as he could go, until Isak hit the back of his throat. He stayed there for a second, allowing Isak’s curses above him to guide him, before pulling off slightly, and bringing his hand up to pump whatever his mouth could not reach, his hand now slick with his own spit.

“So close already, so good,” Isak mumbled, sounding delirious. His hips bucked up a little, chasing the feeling of Even surrounding him, but he immediately apologised, “ _ Sorrysorrysorry _ .”

Even pulled off completely, allowing himself to cough once into his shoulder, all the while keeping his hand on Isak. He jerked his hand up and down, twisting his wrist slightly when he reached the tip. Even though the angle was slightly off, this was something that Even definitely had experience in.

“It’s okay,” he replied, unable to stop his movements, higher than weed would ever make him, just by the sound of Isak’s moans. He leaned down once more, placing his tongue on the head, making sure to keep eye contact, before murmuring, “Want you to come in my mouth. I wanna taste you.”

“Fucking hell, Even,” Isak groaned, “You better get your mouth on me then. Because it’s gonna happen any second now. _ Fuck.” _

“Gladly,” Even murmured, as he sunk down once more on Isak’s cock, moaning as another burst of precome hit his tongue. He bobbed his head up and down, going faster now, not holding back. He needed to taste Isak, needed to know what he looked like when he was coming.

Isak’s eyes widened a little more and he made a broken noise in the back of his throat. Only the tug on Even’s hair gave him a warning, before he was coming, throwing his head back into the pillow.

Even moaned as he felt his mouth suddenly get a whole lot more wet. Isak didn’t taste like much, perhaps a little bit salty, but nothing identifiable. Even didn’t care, because it was Isak. It was Isak who was coming, now letting out a hoarse shout as his stomach clenched, and his hips bucked under Even’s hands. He swallowed everything that Isak gave him, moaning low in the back of his throat as he did so.

Isak needed a couple of seconds before he mumbled, “Come here and kiss me.” His voice was breathless, wrecked.

Even pulled off, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before leaning forward on his elbow, and kissing Isak. 

It was a wet kiss, complete with tongues and lips. Even bucked his hips desperately into Isak’s outer thigh, suddenly becoming aware that he still hadn’t taken his jeans off.

“Let me return the favour… can I?” It was a little ridiculous how unsure Isak sounded after what they had just done, hand hovering just above the button of Even’s jeans. 

“Please,” Even moaned, uncaring of how desperate he sounded. He leaned back a little bit, stopped grinding against Isak’s thigh so that Isak could unzip his pants, finally. 

Isak unbuttoned Even’s pants hurriedly, shoving them down Even’s thighs haphazardly. Even heard Isak let out a shaky breath, obviously still nervous. 

“You don’t have to do anything, you know,” Even murmured, leaning in and placing a sweet kiss onto Isak’s lips. 

Isak smiled faintly, “What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t? I want to. Want you to feel as good as you made me feel.” 

“Okay,” Even replied, not even bothering to suppress his smile. “Where do you want me, then?”

“Lie down,” Isak muttered as he sat up, careful to not bump his head against the ceiling again. They shifted around until Even was in the same position Isak had been before and Isak crawled between his legs.

Even let out a heavy breath through his nose, having stop himself from bucking his hips up into Isak’s hand, which was resting upon his upper thigh. He had to stay patient, however. Isak was still very new to this.

“What else do you want me to do?” he asked, biting his lip as he allowed his back to relax into the mattress.

“Just enjoy this. Hopefully,” Isak grinned, a hint of nerves still visible in his expression. Tentatively, he let his hand wander up Even’s thigh, caressing the inside of it. 

“You really can’t fuck this up,” Even said, breaking out into goosebumps at Isak’s light touches. “Just don’t use your teeth.”

Isak rolled his eyes. “Obviously.” His fingers were replaced by his mouth, peppering featherlight kisses to first his left, then his right thigh. Slowly, his hands began to pull on Even’s waistband, pulling his boxers down. Even lifted his hips to help, and he sighed as his cock was freed, wet against his stomach.

Even squirmed under Isak’s eyes that took his body in, his pupils blown.

“You good?” he asked, tilting his head down to look down at his boyfriend. Isak looked up at him, his eyes open and vulnerable, but he smiled nonetheless.

“I’m good, I’m so good,” Isak replied, taking a deep breath, and then, slowly, reaching out and placing the smallest of kisses on the head of Even’s cock.

Even’s breath stuttered, the warmth against his cock finally catching up with him. “I’m like, not going to last long at all,” he murmured, biting his lip.

“That’s okay,” Isak said as he pulled away momentarily, before taking another breath, and sinking his mouth down on Even’s cock. 

Even moaned as the wet heat enveloped him, arching his back, and digging his head into the pillow. He couldn’t help it, because Isak was so fucking hot.

It was the way that his mouth looked stretched over Even’s cock, the way that his eyelashes fluttered as he sunk down further.

“Ah,  _ fuck,” _ Even whispered shakily, his breath stuttering high in his chest, reaching down to tug gently at Isak’s curls. “You feel so good, baby.”

Isak whined, the sound muffled, and then he popped off.  _ “You _ feel so good,” he replied, his lips shiny with spit.

Even was unable to stop himself from rolling his eyes into the back of his head. “You’re going to make me come if you keep doing that,” he groaned, closing his eyes, and just letting himself feel.

“That’s what I want,” Isak replied cheekily, and then he sunk back down, breathing in deeply as he took Even down further. When Even hit the back of Isak’s throat, he barely was able to stop himself from bucking his hips forward into the tight mouth that surrounded him.

“Yeah,” Even said, absentmindedly, panting out a breath, feeling his face begin to tingle slightly. That was something that only happened a few times with Sonja, only when the sex was really good. And if Even was feeling this way with Isak from just a  _ blowjob, _ then he couldn’t even imagine what else Isak had in store for him.

“Okay, okay,” Even rushed out as the heat swooped something fierce in his belly. With his other hand, he grasped onto the bedsheets in order to stop himself from bucking his hips up into Isak’s mouth. “I’m gonna come, but you don’t have to-”

Isak moaned against Even’s cock, shaking his head minutely. He increased the suction, bobbing his head just that little bit faster, and Even stopped worrying. He let go of everything, instead, throwing his head back into the pillow once more.

He felt it all. He felt it in his tingling face, in his stomach, his cock, all the way down to his toes, which were clenched into the bedsheets.

“I’m coming,” he gasped out, grasping onto the strands of Isak’s hair a little harder in order to try and ground himself. It didn’t matter, anyways, because he was  _ flying. _

Even felt a pang go through his stomach as he felt himself shoot, into Isak’s mouth. Isak took it all, not even flinching. Even felt the vibrations from Isak’s moans, which only added to the overwhelming sensation running through his body to his groin.

Isak pulled off a little bit, instead opting to run his tongue solely around the head. Even arched his back and whined, not even caring that his voice was breaking, because he was running that lovely fine line of fucking amazing and just a little bit too much. Even let himself prolong the feeling, finally bucking his hips up onto Isak’s tongue, careful to not go too deep. Isak let him, and as Even finally opened his eyes back up again, he realised that Isak’s own eyes were staring right back up at him, and they probably had been for the whole time.

“Fuck,” Even gasped, pushing lightly at Isak’s shoulder as the stimulation became just a little but too much, too oversensitive. “Can’t feel my toes.”

“Oh,” Isak mumbled, his breathing laboured as he rested his cheek upon Even’s upper thighs. “You okay?”

Even looked down at his boyfriend, not even trying to stop the smile that formed on his cheeks. “Fucking yes I’m okay,” Even said, flopping his head back down onto the pillow, his chest heaving. “That was so good, oh my god.”

“Even though it was my first time?” Isak asked, his voice much too small considering how  _ fucking  _ good he was.

“Isak, come here,” Even murmured, grabbing onto Isak’s arms and pulling lightly. Isak followed, settling himself half on top of Even’s chest, resting his head on the pillow next to Even’s.

Even turned slightly, slightly wrenching Isak off his chest, but he didn’t care.

“It was amazing,” Even murmured, finally feeling his breathing slowing down, although his chest was probably still flushed like crazy. “You were so amazing.”

“So were you,” Isak whispered, trailing his eyes up to meet Even’s.

Even smiled, licking his lips, and then leaning in to press a sweet kiss to Isak’s lips. Isak kissed back desperately. Although the air of lust had been dispelled from the air, Even still understood Isak’s demeanour. He understood that what was happening between them was fucking insane, because they just had this absolutely overwhelming and consuming attraction to one another. He’d never felt like this with anyone, ever.

And as they broke the kiss and Isak snuggled into Even’s chest, and they breathed in each other, he just  _ knew _ that Isak felt the exact same way.


	28. Thursday 31.05.18 13:13 - Maybe

Maybe it was stupid. Maybe Isak would get to his childhood home, and he’d be all tongue-tied again like a couple of days ago. Maybe today wasn’t the day he’d come out and maybe today wasn’t the day that he’d stand up for his mother.

Maybe, maybe, maybe…

But maybe he could be brave today.

Even certainly seemed to believe that.

There was a difference between being brave on the phone and being brave in person though.

A message was easily sent and Isak would be able to throw his phone away or something to not obsessively wait for his mother’s reply.

In person, he’d see her reaction right there…

Isak squeezed his eyes shut. He had to stop thinking. Even had done so well distracting him and now Isak was ruining all of that again.

“Hey, I’m gonna go to my mum’s place,” Isak peeked his head into the living room where Eskild and Linn were lounging.

Eskild looked surprised but he didn’t comment on how unusual it was for Isak to just visit his mother. “Okay, baby gay. Have fun! Oh, and I’m taking Linn out tonight so I hope you don’t rely on any of us to give you leftovers for dinner.”

Isak didn’t rely on them for that. He could cook his own stuff. Except that he hadn’t done any grocery shopping recently. But whatever. He’d find something. (A small part of him wondered that if everything went well, maybe he could have dinner with his mother.)

 

It was always strange coming back to this house. He hadn’t lived here in over a year and yet it looked exactly the same. The sign on the door still had all their names on it. Terje, Marianne, Isak and Lea. From the outside, it looked like they were an actual family, when in reality they hadn’t been for a long time.

Isak’s heart was in his throat when he rang the doorbell. He wondered if there would ever be a time again when he wouldn’t freak out visiting his mother.

When she opened the door and Isak took in her freshly-washed hair framing her face and the faint pink tint of her cheeks, a small portion of the weight on his shoulders lifted. “Hei mamma,” Isak mumbled. Part one of the message he had wanted to send her: done. Nailed it.

“Isak, my baby boy,” A brilliant smile appeared on Marianne’s face, making her seem ages younger, “I’m sorry but I think I forgot you were coming today?”

“You didn’t,” Isak reassured her, going in for a quick hug, “This is spontaneous.”

If possible, her smile turned even bigger. “That’s really nice!” She stepped aside to let him into the house.

They settled down in the kitchen, sitting across from each other. Marianne just looked at Isak happily and Isak tried his best not to squirm. It made him feel so bad to see her so excited that he was here unannounced, a reminder how he had fucked up numerous times in the past.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you today?” His mother asked eventually, stretching her hands out across the table and reaching for Isak’s.

Isak’s gaze was fixed on her thumb brushing against his skin gently, almost encouragingly. Another wave of guilt hit him, realising that she knew exactly that he wouldn’t just visit her just for the sake of it. “I…” He breathed, clearing his throat before he continued, “Need to talk to you about something.”

Marianne squeezed his hand, her voice soft when she told him, “You can talk to me about anything.”

If only it were that easy…

“Yeah but…”

She sighed and stood up, walking around the table to cup Isak’s face in her hands. “What are you afraid of, my son? You know I love you, right? I know I haven’t always been a great mother to you but I will  _ always _ love you, Isak.”

Isak felt his eyes well up with tears. He nodded, shutting his eyes for a moment to gather himself. A tear slid down his cheek and his mother quickly brushed it away. “I-” Isak croaked. He had the whole speech in his head, had gone over it so many times when he had come up with it and maybe if he just stubbornly recited what he had meant to send in a text, it would be easier. “I have started dating a guy. His name is Even,” He whispered, “I’m sorry if that makes you sad-”

Marianne interrupted him immediately, “Sad? Why would it make me sad? Is he nice to you? You’re happy with him?”

Isak didn’t find the right words to reply to that. His whole speech was ruined. He just barely nodded.

His mother wrapped her arms around him, pulling him against her chest. “My beautiful boy. I’ve loved you from the moment you were born and I will always love you. I don’t care who you love as long as they treat you well and make you happy, okay?”

Isak clawed to the back of her shirt, sobs wrecking his body. “I’m so sorry, mamma. I’m sorry I ran away when it got hard,” He babbled against her neck, snot and tears everywhere.

“Oh Isak, you know I don’t blame you, right?” Her voice sounded a little watery now as well, “No fifteen-year old boy should have to go through what you went through. I’m gonna get better, I mean it.”

With his mother’s warm embrace and his face tucked in the crook of her neck instead of looking at her, it was a little easier for Isak to utter his next words. “Mamma, please don’t let dad move back in. I know you miss Lea and you just want to have her around all the time again but- don’t let him back into your life. You know he’s never going to change. I can’t watch you break again. Please. We’ll figure out a way for you to see Lea more often again but there are other ways than letting him move in again.”

“You really think that?” Marianne pulled away to look Isak in the eyes, tear tracks on her cheeks.

Isak nodded, swallowing his fear down. He had to convince his mother somehow. “He’s going to ruin all the progress you’ve made,” He whispered,  _ pleaded _ .

She sighed, standing up. “If that’s really what you think…”

Isak was scared. Would this be the moment that his mother threw him out after all? She could accept Isak was gay but being reunited with her husband and their second child was still more important to her? “If you don’t want to be alone, I will move back in. Just please…” He trailed off, didn’t know what else he could say.

“I don’t want you to move back here. And you don’t want that either, Isak,” She murmured, coming back to crouch on the ground in front of him. Her phone was in her hand.

“What are you doing?” Isak asked in confusion, looking down at his mother who was frantically typing.

She shot him a quick, reassuring smile. “I’m texting your father that I don’t want to have him back in this house. Ever. Unless it’s to drop Lea off for a visit. I’ve caused you enough pain, my beautiful boy, and if you think it’s for the best to have him out of my life, I trust you.”

Isak started crying all over again. He barely let Marianne finish typing the message before he wrapped his arms around her again, almost losing his balance and falling off the chair as he did so.

They hugged for a long time and it felt like something was mended between them.

“Now show me a picture of your boyfriend and tell me everything I need to know about him,” Marianne eventually demanded, brushing the remaining tears from Isak’s cheeks.

Isak’s laugh was still a little watery but he eagerly pulled out his phone to show his mother a picture of Even and tell her about him.

Maybe Isak could actually have the kind of relationship he had always wanted with his mother. Maybe today marked a fresh start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Head over to our tumblr, and make a guess who we are ;) Hope you liked this <3


	29. Friday 01.06.18 17:31 - Places to be

“You excited baby?” Even asked as he rubbed his thumb along Isak’s. 

Their intertwined hands swung together as they walked along the pavement. Even took in his boyfriend’s face. Isak was obviously nervous, biting his lip in the way that he normally would when he was apprehensive about something, but he hadn’t spoken up much at all on their entire walk.

“I wouldn’t call it excited,” Isak mumbled, “But I want you to meet my mum and she’s gonna love you.” He tugged on Even’s hand a little to pull him in for a short kiss. Even could tell the closeness made Isak a little more relaxed.

“I hope so,” Even murmured against Isak’s lips, his free hand coming up to squeeze gently, reassuringly, at Isak’s waist.

They stood there for awhile, enveloped in each other, completely forgetting the world for a moment. Even would gladly stay like this forever, Isak in his arms, kissing him, feeling his warm breath against his, completely-

“Oh! Hi!” Even’s eyes snapped away from Isak at the sound of the all too familiar voice. 

“Sonja?” Even said hesitantly, pulling away from his boyfriend, and meeting Sonja’s blue eyes. Her blonde hair was curled today, definitely longer than when they’d been dating.

“Hi,” She repeated, a little awkwardly, “I wanted to call…” She cleared her throat, gaze settling on Isak and how close they stood to each other. “You must be Even’s… friend? He’s told me about you.”

Squaring his shoulders a little, Isak said coolly, “I’m Isak, Even’s  _ boyfriend _ .”

Sonja looked like she wanted to be anywhere but here - Even could relate. “Yes, of course,” She mumbled, a deep blush rising in her cheeks, “Nice to meet you.”

“Lovely,” Even clapped his hands together as the two shook hands awkwardly. “Well, we’ve gotta go, places to be you know-”

“Even, can we talk?” Sonja blurted out, eyes wide and pleading.

“Sonja.” Even rolled his eyes, unable to help himself. “Do we really need to do this? You’ve made it perfectly clear that you don’t respect me enough to believe me, so…”

“Please, Even?” Sonja begged.

Isak cleared his throat, leaning up to press a kiss to Even’s cheek. “I’m gonna give you two a moment.”

“Okay, babe,” Even murmured, pursing his lips out for a proper kiss.

“I’m sorry,” Sonja burst out as soon as Isak had given them some privacy, “I was absolutely out of line when I…”

“When you told me that I was faking it because I’m bipolar?” Even asked, narrowing his eyes at her, not even bothering to hide his judgement.

“Yes,” Sonja whispered, looking at the ground in shame, “I don’t know what I was thinking. You’re obviously not your illness. And seeing you with Isak right now, I can already tell how much you love him. I’m so sorry, Even, I wish I could take back what I said.” Her eyes met his again, tears shining in them and Even could tell that she meant it.

“You can understand why that was upsetting to hear, then?” Even sighed, crossing his arms in front of his chest defensively. He looked down at his feet. “It wasn’t just me coming out to you. That was the reason why we broke up. I felt like I was never taken seriously the moment that I got diagnosed.”

Sonja made a move as if she wanted to reach out for Even but thought better of it in the last second. “I was scared for you. It was a whole new situation that I tried to figure out - which, obviously, isn’t an excuse. I thought if I could just  _ control _ what you were doing, it would all be okay. But I fucked up. I’m so sorry, please believe me, Even.”

“You can’t control me, Sonja,” Even said, looking up at her and meeting her eyes, honestly, for the first time in a long time. “I understand  _ why _ you did it, just, I don’t know…”

“I know I can’t. I really do. If- I know you don’t like me a lot right now but if you ever wanna be friends again… I won’t ever try to control you again, promise,” Sonja whispered.

“Nah, I mean, I fucked you over a bunch too,” Even looked down again at his feet, biting his lip. “And I guess that if you could control what I did, then I would stop hurting you, just… You know that I truly am sorry for everything that I’ve done to you, right?”

Sonja smiled a sad smile. “We were pretty shitty to each other, weren’t we?” She sighed, “But we also know everything about each other so I think we could be great as friends. But that’s on you, Even.”

“We were pretty shit to each other,” Even agreed, letting out a sigh. “Can I get back to you on that? I think that we could definitely be good friends, I’m just… learning to control myself first, I guess.”

“Yes, of course,” Sonja smiled timidly. “I- good luck with Isak. You look very happy. Both of you.”

“He makes me so happy,” Even smiled, looking over at Isak’s form in the distance, which was pacing. “I think I… I think I love him.”

“I can tell. And he looks at you like he loves you just as much,” Sonja mused, now reaching out to squeeze Even’s arm after all.

“I hope so,” Even murmured, feeling a slight flush on his cheeks. He looked up at Sonja, at the blue eyes that he had once fallen in love with. “You’re okay, then?”

“I’m okay,” She confirmed. A moment later, she laughed, “I’m actually on my way to a date so… I should probably go. You and Isak probably have plans as well!”

“A date, huh?” Even waggled his eyebrows. “Well, good luck, Sonja.”

“Thank you. We’ll get in touch, yeah?”

“We will,” Even promised, and then held his arms out for a hug. “Now, go have fun on your date, Peanut.”

Sonja smiled, falling into the embrace. They held onto each other for a moment and then Sonja pulled away. “Bye, Even.” Before she walked away, she called out to Isak, “Bye, Isak.”

“Bye, Sonja.” Even patted her on the back as she walked away. He watched as Isak came closer, waving goodbye to Sonja, a confused smile on his face.

“So I didn’t hear any shouting?” Isak said carefully.

“Nah,” Even smiled, reaching out for Isak with grabby hands. “We talked it through, she apologised, and it actually went really well.”

“I’m glad,” Isak smiled, pressing his lips to Even’s. “Are you still up for meeting my mum? Or was talking too Sonja enough excitement for the night?”

“I still want to meet your mum,” Even replied, humming against Isak’s lips, wrapping both of his arms around Isak’s shoulders. “Please?”

“Let’s go then,” Isak smiled, pulling away from Even.


	30. Friday 01.06.18 22:43 - Years from now

Isak just watched Even, too focused on drinking in every little bit of his boyfriend to even feel like a creep. Even had fallen asleep a couple minutes ago after they had shared soft and giggly kisses, both of them so incredibly happy how well Even meeting Isak’s mum had gone.

Isak hadn’t had any doubts about that, Marianne had made it perfectly clear that Isak’s happiness was the most important thing to her and after having told her about Even, she had already been halfway in love with him.

So Isak hadn’t been worried but he’d been nervous nevertheless.

Now there was only one more person Even had to meet. Arguably the most important one. It wasn’t random that Isak had suggested to spend the night at the kollektiv. He didn’t want another formal “meet the parents” kind of scenario and while he had obviously plotted this, he wanted Even meeting Eskild in person for the first time to be as organic as possible.

Isak smiled. His hand that had rested on Even’s sternum reached up so he could gently brush his fingers through Even’s hair and maybe he imagined it but Isak thought Even’s lips pulled up in a smile of his own even though he was sleeping.

Isak pressed a kiss to Even’s chest, right above his heart. There was a nervous flutter in his stomach when he whispered into Even’s skin, “I love you.” Just to see how it would feel.

And it was so strange how he could picture them exactly like this two, five, twenty, fifty years from now.

Isak tugged himself more into Even’s side, resting his head against Even’s shoulder. He fell asleep with a smile on his face.


	31. Saturday 02.06.18 11:35 - Stay here with you

Isak was at peace. He had had a full night’s sleep with Even’s body pressed against his, his arms around him. Never before had Isak felt this safe and loved.

It seemed like finally his life was taking a turn for the better. His mother was doing okay, he had come out and all his friends and his mother had accepted him, he had a fucking gorgeous boyfriend.

He didn’t want to jinx it but everything was damn near perfect right now.

Even stirred next to him and Isak kept his eyes closed, pretending to still be asleep. It was hard not to break into the biggest smile.

It took a couple minutes for Even to wake up completely, his voice rough from sleep as he quietly said, “Isak?”

Isak nuzzled his nose against Even’s chest but still pretended.

Even shifted until Isak wasn’t lying half on top of him anymore and a moment later, Isak felt Even’s soft lips against his cheek. “Isak,” He whispered again, pressing another kiss to Isak’s forehead.

“Isak, wake up, sleepy head,” He murmured, peppering kisses all over Isak’s face until Isak couldn’t hold the giggles in anymore.

“Even,” He whined, laughter bubbling from his throat as he blindly waved his hands around to somehow stop Even from attacking him like that. When his hands smacked lightly against Even’s cheeks, he finally opened his eyes, holding Even’s face in his hands. He was greeted with the brightest smile and it lit his insides on fire. He captured Even’s lips in a deep kiss and turned over until he could pull Even on top of him.

They stayed kissing like that for a while until Even murmured, “Can I just stay here with you forever?”

“You can.”

And so they did.


	32. Sunday 03.05.18 16:00 - Get well soon

“Are you hungry?” Isak asked, tilting his chin up to steal another kiss from Even. They had spent all day, all weekend really, in bed, getting to know each other more and kissing, kissing, kissing.

Even smiled, melting against Isak’s lips. “Yeah, a little,” He said when he pulled away.

Hand in hand, they walked to the kitchen which was-

Eerily silent.

Isak had noticed before already, that the whole kollektiv was strangely quiet but he had figured at least on Sunday, Eskild would be back from whatever epic party trip he had been on.

“What’s with the face?” Even asked, eyeing Isak curiously, eyebrows drawn up.

“What face?” Isak shot back.

Even pulled him in, raising his hand to trace his fingers against Isak’s forehead. “You look like a disgruntled cat, baby.”

Isak blushed, not meeting Even’s gaze when he admitted, “I kind of wanted you to meet Eskild?”

Even laughed, “I figured. Since you brought me here where you  _ live _ with Eskild.” He looked around the kitchen as if Eskild would appear out of nowhere, “He’s not here? Do you know when he’ll be back?”

Isak shook his head, a bad feeling in his stomach. “He usually messages us in the group chat when he’s gone for a while. This is weird.”

“You could call him?” Even suggested, a worried expression on his face.

Isak felt a little bad that Even had had so much of his attention that he only noticed now that something didn’t seem to be quite right. “Yeah, I should do that,” He mumbled, pecking Even’s lips again before he went back to his room to get his phone.

When he returned to the kitchen, he already held the phone to his ear, waiting for Eskild to pick up.

“Isak? Everything okay?” Eskild answered the phone.

Isak rolled his eyes. “Yeah, everything okay. What about you? Where are you?” 

“You’re worried about me? Are you worried about your guru?” For anyone who didn’t know Eskild as well as Isak did, his voice probably would sound perfectly normal but Isak could immediately tell that the usual chipper tone was missing.

“Where are you?” Isak repeated, gnawing on his bottom lip.

Eskild sighed. “At the hospital-”

“What the fuck!” Isak exclaimed, eyes wide in panic. Immediately, Even stepped closer and reached out for his hand for comfort.

Eskild’s breath hitched and Isak had never heard him like that. “It’s my grandma. She’s not doing so well. Sorry for not letting you know earlier.”

“Fuck,” Isak blurted, knowing how much Eskild’s grandma meant to him. “Do you want me to come there? I can leave the kollektiv right now.”

The line was quiet for a moment. “Thank you, Isak, but no. I have Linn here with me.”

So that explained why there was no life at all in the flat. Noora was staying with her friends a lot more often since the whole William debacle and while he usually saw Linn every now and then when she was hiding away in her room, she simply wasn’t here right now. “Okay. Let me know if you need anything?” Isak said quietly.

“Thanks, baby gay,” Eskild murmured and Isak thought there even was a smile audible in his voice. “You know what would make me really happy? If you invited your boy over and made really good use of having the flat to yourself.”

Isak felt his face flaming. “Eskild!” He screeched, meeting Even’s gaze who looked at him with his eyebrows raised. After a beat, he added quietly, “He’s already here…”

Eskild laughed, “Oh my god! You sneaky little shit. Have fun with him, yeah?”

“When will you be back?” Isak asked and he realised that despite having been so preoccupied with Even, he actually missed Eskild.

“Probably tomorrow, maybe Tuesday, depending on how grandma’s feeling. So you’ve got at least one more night with Even before you have to sneak him past me again…” Eskild said.

Isak shook his head even though Eskild couldn’t see him. “I don’t wanna sneak him past you…” He mumbled.

“Oh! Well, I hope I can meet him soon then!” Eskild now sounded genuinely excited so at least Isak was able to give him some distraction if only for the moment.

Isak smiled. “Yeah, me too. I hope your grandma gets well soon, Eskild.”

“Thank you. Bye, Isak, love you.”

“Love you too, bye,” Isak mumbled before hanging up the phone.

Even asked worriedly, “Is everything okay with him?”

Isak shrugged, “It’s his grandma… she’s in hospital and he’s with her. She’s the only family he has left so that’s rough.”

“Fuck, that’s terrible,” Even mumbled.

“She’s gonna be okay. She has to,” Isak replied, brow furrowed. He didn’t want to imagine how hard it would be on Eskild if she  _ wasn’t _ . To busy himself, Isak walked over to the fridge, getting out some stuff so they could cook something. “Can you check if I have some pasta on my shelf? If not, you can just steal Noora’s,” Isak instructed while his thoughts were with Eskild.


	33. Monday 04.06.18 16:33 - The guru

“Where’s he now?” Even asked his boyfriend nervously.

He and Isak were cuddling on the sofa in the lounge, long limbs strewn each and every way. 

Even had to say, having Isak in his arms like this just felt so entirely right. The only thing that didn’t feel right was the fact that Eskild was due home from the hospital any minute now, and Even’s stomach was completely twisted in knots. This dude was basically Isak’s older  _ brother _ . 

“Babe, you asked that like thirty seconds ago. Relax! It’s gonna be fine,” Isak told him softly. “This is why I didn’t want to plan this… I just wanted you to run into each other, take the pressure off.”

“Okay, but what if he hates me?” Even countered, throwing his spare arm up in the air dramatically. “What if he decides that I’m not good enough for 

his  _ precious baby gay  _ and then like, kicks me out or something?”

Isak wiggled around until he could hold Even’s face in his hands. “What if he loves you?” Isak challenged, “What if he can see how incredibly happy you make me and how perfect you are for me? Even, seriously, he’s gonna love you. You already talked to him and he was smitten with you then. That won’t suddenly change.” 

“I guess not,” Even admitted, tilting his head down so that he could look at his boyfriend’s beautiful face. “And by the way, if we’re having a competition about who is more crazy for one another, I’m totally going to win.”

“As if! I’m clearly gonna win!” Isak grinned at him before pressing their lips together. But after a moment, he pulled away, resting his forehead against Even’s. “Don’t be nervous, Even. You’re even more nervous than you were when meeting my mum. What’s up with that?”

“Because I feel like I can relate to your mum a little bit, I don’t know,” Even shrugging gently, nuzzling his nose against Isak’s. “And it’s not that I can’t relate to Eskild, it’s just that he’s so protective over you, I don’t know.”

“Well, I’m protective over you so Eskild doesn’t have another choice than to like you,” Isak whispered, “I mean what’s not to like anyway?”

“I can literally list a million reasons not to like me,” Even attempted to joke, but he could tell that it fell flat with Isak. 

“Even,” Isak pulled away a little so Even could see his eyes, “I love you and I will counter every single one of those million reasons you have not to like you.”

“I love you too,” Even whispered, feeling his cheeks flush under Isak’s gaze. “I really fucking love you.” 

The smile Isak shot him was blinding. “Now I’d appreciate it if the man that I love would stop putting himself down.”

“Okay,” Even replied in a hushed voice, leaning down to kiss the man of his dreams.

In that moment, they heard the front door open and immediately, Even froze. “Babe, it’s okay,” Isak reassured him but scrambled away from Even to sit properly on the sofa so the first impression Eskild got of Even wasn’t finding him in a compromising position with Isak.

“I hope everyone currently in this flat is dressed,” Eskild called into the flat but it was clear that he was exhausted.

Isak grabbed Even’s hand, shooting his boyfriend a comforting smile as the two stood up to meet Eskild.

“We’re dressed!” Even called back tentatively, looking to Isak for direction.

Isak grinned and then burst into laughter when Eskild walked into the room and said, “Shame, I thought I’d get to see a hot boy undressed. Not you, Isak.”

“Fuck off, Eskild. He’s mine,” Isak warned him but he was still smiling.

“I’d love to see my hot guy getting undressed,” Even teased, unlacing his and Isak’s fingers and instead wrapping his arm around Isak’s shoulders. Even swallowed his nerves, and looked up at Eskild.

“You two are disgusting. I feel so proud,” Eskild grinned, “Hi, Even. Nice to finally meet you in person. Sorry for the delay…”

“Halla,” Even greeted, grinning back. “It’s lovely to meet the guru in person.”

Eskild sighed dramatically. “Please get Isak to call me that more often!” He begged.

Isak rolled his eyes but his voice was laced with worry when he asked Eskild, “How’s your grandma doing?”

“She’s gonna be okay,” Eskild replied, “Just a little scare. But anyway, did you enjoy having the flat to yourself?”

“It was pretty great,” Even replied, wrapping his other arm also around Isak’s shoulders in for a hug. “Wasn’t it, Isak?”

“It was,” Isak murmured, smiling up at Even, “I could get used to this.”

“You don’t live along alone though, babe,” Even teased, placing a peck on the side of Isak’s face. 

“Not yet,” Isak smirked.

“You two really are gross,” Eskild scoffed, smiling fondly at the two. “I’m gonna make myself some food, I’m starving.”

“Eskild,” Even interrupted, taking one of his hands off Isak’s shoulders, much to Isak’s pouty dismay. “I was planning on making some lasagna or something, you don’t have to make food if you don’t want to.”

Eskild clapped his hands in delight. With a pointed look at Isak he said, “We’re gonna keep that one.”

“That’s really nice to hear,” Even laughed a little nervously. “Just relax Eskild, we’ve got dinner covered.”

Isak raised his eyebrows, “Wait,  _ we? _ I was gonna say obviously  _ I’m _ gonna keep that one but maybe I have to think that through again. You promised to make me lasagna, not that I had to help!”

“Babe, you know how to use a knife, don’t you?” Even sassed, raising his own brows.

“Well, yea-“

_ “Yeah,”  _ Even interrupted, giggling at Isak’s surprised face. “Then you cut vegetables for me.”

“I can imagine a million other things I could be doing for you instead,” Isak told him with a wink.

Eskild threw his hands in the air. “Why are you like this? I’m gonna be in my room, you’re too cute to handle. Call me when dinner is ready!”

“O-okay,” Even stuttered out as Eskild’s form retreated into the hallway. “You’re a menace,” Even retorted as he turned back to Isak. “You know that?”

“What?” Isak laughed, “What did I do?” 

“Don’t offer to do things for me if you actually aren’t going to do them,” Even whined. “My body can’t handle it.”

Isak mused, “I’m pretty sure I wasn’t talking about dinner…” He kissed Even quickly, “But you promised Eskild dinner so I guess we have to find out later how much exactly your body can handle.” With that, he walked away to the kitchen.

“God fucking- Isak!” Even called out with a laugh as he ran after his boyfriend.


	34. Tuesday 05.06.18 10:14 - Morning Kisses

“Wake up, baby,” whispered a voice in Even’s ear, soft in conjunction with the morning sunlight streaming through the window and against Even’s closed eyelids.

“Mmh,” Even mumbled, burrowing his face into Isak’s pillow, the soft one, and breathing in the slight scent of detergent and the much more present scent of  _ Isak. _

“I need to kiss you,” Isak mumbled, dragging his lips lightly against the side of Even’s face that wasn’t squished into the pillow. “Morning kisses are the best.”

“Too early,” Even mumbled back, but he turned anyways towards the source of the sound.

When Even opened his eyes bearily, green ones were already looking at him.

“You’re cute,” Even said, taking in the early morning flush of Isak’s cheeks, and the indentations from the pillow on the side of his face.

_ “You’re  _ cute,” Isak countered, as Even bit his lip in order to hold back his laughter.

“Hmm,” Even pouted, pursing his lips out for a kiss, morning breath be damned. 

Isak got the hint, closing the distance between them with a toothy smile, before pressing his lips to Even’s.


	35. Tuesday 05.06.18 18:42 - Lucky

Isak could really get used to this. Spending the better part of the day in bed with the man of his dreams, not worrying about anything.

It seemed kind of crazy to think about that it had only been about two weeks that he’d met Even and not much longer that they had started talking properly, and yet Isak just felt so connected to him.

He’d told Even yesterday that he loved him. And while he absolutely meant it, it was kind of startling how fast those feelings had developed. He wasn’t sure he ever even told Eskild he loved him and he was the person he was closest to.

“I can literally hear you thinking, what are you worrying about?” Even jerked him out of his thoughts, squeezing his arms around him where they were lying on the sofa watching some movie.

Isak smiled, craning his neck a little to look at Even. “I’m not worrying. At all. I’m thinking about how lucky I am to have met you,” He murmured, pressing a kiss against Even’s jaw.

“I’m so glad you’re in my life now,” Even whispered, shifting Isak around until they were kissing properly, barely paying any attention to the movie anymore.


	36. Wednesday 06.06.18 15:58 - Tall and hot

Isak might have a problem. He’d last seen Even this morning when he had gone to work and Isak already missed him. So naturally, like the desperate boyfriend he apparently was, he headed to KB to pay Even a visit.

There was a bit of a line when he got there but Isak didn’t mind much. Even hadn’t yet spotted him so Isak could just watch him working without being caught. When he got to the front of the line, he said with a big smile on his face, “Hi, I’d like something tall and hot.”

Even reared back as a look of recognition dawned upon him.

“But you already  _ are _ something tall and hot,” Even argued, pouting as he leaned forward to rest on the counter in front of him.

Isak raised his eyebrows as he leaned in as well, close but not kissing. Yet. “Something taller and hotter then?” He smirked at Even challengingly.

“I’m not so sure that we carry anything that is taller and hotter,” Even clicked his tongue, tilting his head to the side quizzically. “But I guess I’ll find something.”

“If I can’t have you, I guess a hot chocolate will do,” Isak said before pulling Even in by the collar and kissing him, “That’ll be almost as sweet as you.”

“Hei, baby,” Even murmured, as their lips separated. “What’s up?’

“Just wanted to see you,” Isak admitted, feeling a blush rise in his cheeks. Rationally, he knew Even wanted to have Isak around just as much as Isak wanted to be around him but it still made him worry that one day it might be  _ too much _ .

“So did I,” Even replied, leaning in to peck Isak’s hot cheek. “But I couldn’t exactly leave in the middle of my shift.”

Isak smiled broadly at his boyfriend. He just always knew the right things to say. “I don’t wanna keep you from work… I’ll just sit over there and admire you from afar?” He pointed to an empty table by the window, taking a step backwards already.

“Sounds good,” Even placed one last peck onto Isak’s lips, before pulling back. “I’ll come find you when I’m on my break?”

“Okay,” Isak nodded, “Just… one more kiss?”

“One more,” Even nodded, leaning back in to kiss Isak again, when-

“Yo, Even!” said a voice, breaking Isak out of their bubble. “I can’t make all these lattes by myself!”

Isak’s head whipped around to look at a guy with floppy brown hair. Isak remembered him as one of the people who had interrupted his and Even’s first kiss. “Mikael, right?” He piped up, “Sorry, it’s my fault… I didn’t mean to distract Even.”

“And you’re Isak!” Mikael exclaimed, a large smile on his face. “It’s totally okay dude, I’m just teasing Even a little bit!”

“Hey!” Even protested, pouting adorably.

Isak grinned back at him. “Okay, but still I’m just gonna go sit over there.” He turned back to Even, demanding, “Kiss!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're so close to the end now :(((


	37. Thursday 07.06.18 16:03 - New Beginning

“You think that pigeons have feelings?” Even asked as they lay together on the bed, Isak tucked under his arm.

Isak squinted his eyes at Even, laughing. “What? What made you think about that?”

“It’s a meme,” Even responded with a laugh of his own, looking down at his boyfriend. “I can’t believe you didn’t know that.”

“I knew that!” Isak pouted, “I just forgot because unlike you memes isn’t my first thought after having sex with you.”

“You don’t think about memes when you have sex?” Even teased, rubbing his hand along Isak’s upper arm. “Your meme game is weak.”

“I’m sure Julian would appreciate that…” Isak giggled but immediately kissed Even to show him that he didn’t really mean that.

Even kissed back, tracing his tongue along Isak’s lower lip. “Fucking Julian,” Even mumbled in between breaths.

They kissed for a while before Isak pulled away with a hum and whispered, “You know, I had an idea…”

“You want to make sweet love to me under the stars?” Even only half-teased against Isak’s lips, unable to stop himself from nuzzling his nose against Isak’s.

Isak giggled. “We can remember that for later but I just thought, you know how school is almost over and I’m starting university soon? It’s like a whole new life so I thought… maybe I could cut off my hair again? To celebrate this new beginning kind of?”

“Cut…” Even trailed off, rearing his head back in order to run his fingers through Isak’s curls properly. “Cut all of it?”

Isak nodded, a small unsure smile on his lips. “Yeah? Like just shave it off completely. The beard too. Would you… hate me if I did?” Isak looked actually worried.

“Baby, I could never hate you,” Even murmured, leaning in to peck Isak’s lips again. “If that’s what you want, then that’s totally okay. You always look beautiful to me.”

“Even,” Isak cooed, the smile on his lips widening when he suggested, “You could do it? Shave it off?”

_ “Isak,” _ Even whined, resuming his moving fingers in Isak’s curls once more. “I’m not a hairdresser. It’s probably going to look shitty.”

Isak shrugged. “I’m not a hairdresser either and I did it myself last time. I trust you, Even. Imagine the bonding moment we’d have!” He joked.

“Did we not just bond enough?” Even asked, raising his eyebrows as he motioned between their two naked bodies.

Isak shook his head. “Nope, never enough bonding between us. Please, Even? It will be fun, I promise!”

“Okay,” Even sighed, pressing a kiss to Isak’s forehead. “Let’s do this, then.”


	38. Friday 08.06.18 17:09 - We're trash together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for the lovely anon who guessed that one of us is [wyoheartsmusic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyoheartsmusic/works). You wanted a scene of them doing a shoot together, and while we had a shoot together planned anyway, we didn't want to do it in a scene but now we wrote it just for you! Enjoy <3

“Okay, Even, can you tilt your head slightly to the left for me?” Their photographer said, his voice lost somewhere in the bright studio lights. “And Isak, turn more towards Even. Perfect, just like that!”

“Having fun?” Even murmured under his breath, looking down at his boyfriend’s face.

“These clothes are certainly… uh, special. But other than that, yeah. I’ve never done a couple shoot before,” Isak replied just as quietly, a small smile playing on his lips.

“They’re designer,” Even chuckled, giving Isak’s shoulders a small squeeze. “But I guess you wouldn’t know anything about that.”

Isak raised his eyebrows. “Are you insulting your boyfriend right now? I’m very proud of not knowing trash like that. I’m very fond of my hoodies… better than,” He grimaces, waving the too long sleeves of the sweater he was wearing around, “ _ This _ .”

It made Even laugh and the photographer butted in, “Hold that pose!”

Even held the pose, letting out an even louder laugh. “You heard him, babe,” Even teased.  _ “Designer.” _

“Trash,” Isak whispered but he was smiling as well.

“We’re trash together,” Even whispered back.

Not giving a damn about the photoshoot apparently, Isak turned to kiss Even. “Together,” He replied, grabbing Even’s hands and squeezing them.

Even nuzzled his nose against Isak’s, their foreheads pressed together. Even lost himself in Isak, in his scent, in his breath and-

“Perfect! Stay like that!” The photographers voice broke Even out of his spell.

They held the pose, hearing the shutter of the camera go off a couple times and then Isak whispered, “Can he leave?”

“Isak, we’re getting paid for this, remember?” Even replied, biting back a laugh. “Besides, there’s not much longer now anyways.”

Isak scrunched up his nose and muttered, “He’s ruining  _ moments _ between us! But fine, I guess...”

“Don’t worry, babe,” Even mused, leaning in to press a quick kiss to Isak’s lips, unable to help himself. “We have all night to be alone together.”

“Can’t wait,” Isak said before focusing back on the task at hand.

The photoshoot only consisted of one more outfit change out of many, much to Isak’s displeasure. Even giggled as Isak put on his striped sweatshirt with a look of distaste on his face. Even kissed it right off of him.

Isak sighed, resting his head against Even’s shoulder. Much like Even himself, six hours on set must have exhausted Isak who just seemed tired by now. “Can’t wait to just cuddle with you,” Isak muttered, yawning right after.

Even laughed even more as Isak leaned most of his weigh on him. Even wrapped his arm around Isak’s shoulders in order to support him. “You’ll get as many cuddles as you’d like.”

In the background, Even heard the distant shouts of the photographer, “Just like that! Perfect, Isak!”

Even blocked it all out. Right now, there was no one but he and Isak.


	39. Saturday 09.06.18 09:30 - Sana

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's for skater110599 who guessed the right person out of two guesses the anon made ;) A little Sana scene just for you <3

“I actually haven’t seen Sana in awhile,” Even said as he and Isak stood in line for their coffee. “I mean, I don’t really think that quick chat in the schoolyard counts.”

Isak craned his neck to look over his shoulder. “She should be here any moment, she’s never late,” He mused, “I still can’t believe we’ve both been friends with her all this time.”

“It’s a small world, isn’t it?” Even replied, reaching out to gently guide Isak’s head back to face him. Even leaned in and kissed his boyfriend, right in the middle of KB at 9:30 in the morning, just because he could.

“Halla, you love birds. Are you ever not kissing?” Sana was suddenly by their side, smiling happily at them.

Isak stuck his tongue out at her and tugged himself under Even’s arm. “I know there’s a certain someone  _ you’d _ like to be kissing all the time as well!”

“Ugh, shut up, Isak!” Sana scolded but Even saw a blush rising in her cheeks.

“Hei, Sana,” Even greeted, trying to distract her a little bit from the  _ Isak sass. _

“Halla, Even,” she replied, her dimples on full show. “Det går bra?”

“Yeah,” Even responded, and then shook Isak’s shoulders. “And same with this little sass monster. How are you?”

Sana smirked, “Better now that I don’t have to see this dork every day in school anymore.” She shot Isak a pointed look who pouted at her.

“Hey!” He exclaimed indignantly.

“Don’t worry baby,” Even teased, pressing a kiss onto Isak’s temple. “The fact that you’re so cute makes up for it.”

“Thank you,” Isak grinned at Even before ordering a drink since they had arrived at the front of the line.

As Isak ordered for the both of them, Even took the chance to talk to Sana once more.

“How’s Yousef doing?” Even asked, grinning as he saw Sana’s cheeks start to redden.

Sana raised her eyebrows at him, trying to seem calm and collected about this when she shot back, “You’re friends with him, ask him yourself.”

“Sure I could,” Even said reasonably. “But I wanted to hear it from you.” He gave her a pointed look.

She rolled her eyes in true Isak fashion. “He’s doing great. Happy now?” She muttered.

“Very happy.” Even smiled sincerely at her.

“Guys, let’s find a table. Coffees are ordered,” Isak chimed in, “By the way, Sana, you seem happy too. It’s a good look on you!”

Sana rolled her eyes. “Whatever,” she said, but was still smiling. “I wear it better than you anyways.”

Even let out a loud laugh as his boyfriend pouted.

“That’s impossible,” Isak muttered to himself but Sana caught it anyway, laughing at him.


	40. Saturday 09.06.18 17:00 - Shades of Infinity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This scene is for wehave4ever who guessed the second person in this team, [Twinklylightseverywhere](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twinklylightseverywhere/pseuds/Twinklylightseverywhere). (Special shout out to loveevak21 who guessed first but was nice enough to give their scene away.) You wanted a super cheesy date that had cuddles as well so this is what we came up with. We hope the sap levels are high enough for you <3

Isak checked his reflection in the mirror one last time before he went to open the door for Even - he was an hour earlier than he had said but Isak didn’t really mind, he was excited for whatever his boyfriend had planned and seeing more of his boyfriend was always a bonus. 

Isak had opted out of the Eid shirt last minute and instead wore the one he had worn when he and Even had first met - not that it made much of a difference, they were both pretty similar but the romantic part of him hoped that Even would notice and recognise the shirt.

“Halla,” He greeted Even softly, eyes widening when he took in the clothes Even was wearing. Isak had really lucked out with his boyfriend.

“Halla,” Even said distractedly, but he was running his gaze down Isak’s body. “Is that the shirt that you wore when we first met?”

Isak beamed at him.  _ So lucky. _ “It is,” He admitted and closed the distance between them to kiss Even.

“You’re beautiful,” Even breathed against Isak’s lips, as Isak shuddered.  

“You’re breathtaking,” Isak replied, “Are you going to tell me what you’ve got planned now?”

“We’re going out…” Even trailed off, separating from Isak so that they could maintain eye contact a little better.

“Fucking tease,” Isak muttered but he was smiling anyway. Whatever Even had planned, he trusted him completely that they would have a good time and there was no doubt in Isak’s mind that whatever was going to happen, it would be amazing because Even was with him.

“C’mon, let’s get going,” Even murmured, reaching out to caress Isak’s cheeks and place another kiss to his lips quickly.

Isak grabbed Even’s hand and pulled the door closed behind them. “Is it weird that I’m a little nervous?”

“Why are you nervous?” Even asked as he swung their joined hands back and forth, guiding the two down the stairs. “It’s just me.”

Isak shrugged his shoulders, “I know but… I don’t know what’s going to happen so…” He knew it was an irrational feeling but he just couldn’t help it, he liked to be prepared.

“It’s nothing bad, Isak,” Even stopped them for a second so that they faced each other and reached out to grab Isak’s other hand as well. “I can tell you if you want, but I just wanted us to do something nice tonight.”

“No, don’t tell me!” Isak exclaimed, instantly feeling bad for making Even worry that he wasn’t going to enjoy this. “You’ve told me before right? You’re gonna take me to some hotel and other romantic shit. I’m excited for it! And nervous… but mostly excited!”

“Not a hotel, no,” Even said, chuckling a little bit. “But maybe some other time? Take you to Radisson Blu?”

Isak smiled, suggesting, “Or maybe  _ I _ take  _ you!” _

“Okay, okay!” Even conceded, his laugh much more loud this time. “That sounds amazing, babe.” He kissed Isak on the cheek.

Isak made a mental note of that. Only the best for Even.

 

Isak did a terrible job at suppressing his gasp as he took a look at the restaurant in front of him.

By the looks of it, the place was  _ really fancy,  _ definitely modern, as were most of the buildings in Oslo. Outside stood the valet service, which definitely clued Isak in as to how fancy this place really was.

“Even…” Isak trailed off, unable to find the right words. He was absolutely in awe, his eyes going back and forth rapidly between the restaurant and Even. This was going to cost a fortune. “This is even more extra than booking a suite. I didn’t think that was possible,” He eventually gasped.

“I  _ am  _ extra,” Even mused, but then lost his smile when he saw the look on Isak’s face. “Baby, let me treat you. I want to do this. You deserve to be wined and dined properly.”

“Can we afford this?” Isak made sure because he wanted Even to enjoy this evening just as much as Isak probably would.

“I’ve been saving up for awhile,” Even shrugged, and then smirked. “Besides, this romantic shit gets me off.”

A smile spread on Isak’s face when he suggested teasingly, “Ever had sex in a fancy as fuck restaurant’s bathroom?”

“I haven’t,” Even said, wiggling his eyebrows. “But nah, tonight is all about making sure that you are thoroughly romanced. The sex can come after.” Even paused, and then snorted. “Hah,  _ come.” _

“You’re such a dork,” Isak laughed, “Also, note to self: when I take you to that hotel, we’re gonna have public bathroom sex. Wanna go inside?”

“Let’s,” Even giggled, tugging Isak along by the hand. “And by the way,” he continued, giving Isak a quick glance over his shoulder. “Why would we do that when we  _ literally  _ have an entire room all to ourselves?”

Isak rolled his eyes. “Why  _ wouldn’t _ we? It’s fun!”

“I sense a kink!” Even teased, and then, before Isak could retaliate, marched right up to the hostess. “Halla, we have reservations under Even Bech Næsheim?”

Isak leaned close to Even to whisper in his ear, “Definitely a kink.” Waiting if Even could keep a straight face in front of the hostess.

As expected, Even’s face went red as the hostess let out a chipper “Right this way!”

“Fucking hell,” Even whispered into Isak’s ear as they followed the hostess to their table. “Then we definitely need to do something about that.”

Isak was giggling as they sat down, reminding Even, “But not tonight. This is all about romancing me, remember?” He wondered how much it took to really wind Even up.

“We’ll see after you’ve some wine in you,” Even chuckled, thanking the hostess as she sat them down in their seats.

Isak almost choked on his own spit. Well, Even definitely knew how to wind  _ him _ up. “Oh, so you’re just trying to get me drunk?” He teased. He let his eyes trail around the restaurant. Well-dressed people were all around them and the two of them were definitely the youngest.

“I’m getting myself drunk too, don’t worry,” Even’s voice brought Isak back to his table.

“Well then,“ Isak grinned, “Let’s pour a little cherry wine?” He was quite proud of himself for remembering that quote, sending Even a ridiculous wink to go along with it.

“You’re just saying that because I showed you the song,” Even whined, but there was a smile on his face.

“That just proves that I’m paying attention to you because what you say and do is important to me,” Isak shot back confidently. It was so easy with Even, he almost forgot that they were in some fancy restaurant where he should feel more out of his depth than he did right now.

“True,” Even said, his smile softening. “You are a great boyfriend.”

“I  _ have _ a great boyfriend,” Isak corrected. This whole evening was going to be one big sap fest and Isak smiled ridiculously large at that thought. He didn’t mind at all.

Even ordered them a wine that Isak couldn’t even pronounce. Isak didn’t even care, because it actually tasted pretty good, considering that he didn’t really like wine in the first place. Even also ordered them both something, seeing as Isak could barely read the menu. All he knew was that the waiter “highly recommended” it and that it was some sort of fancy french dish.

And now, each a couple glasses in, Isak was definitely starting to feel a little giggly. “You know,” Isak mused, “If you’d just taken me to a simple Italian restaurant, we could have totally reenacted Lady and the Tramp! I bet you’d get off on  _ that!” _ He started full-blown laughing when the couple at the neighbouring table shot him a withering glance because he had spoken a little too loudly. 

“Isak!” Even choked on the food in his mouth slightly, his face turning red. “I totally would but that’s not the point!”

Isak got out of his chair and leaned over the table to get a kiss from Even. He didn’t care about etiquette, wasn’t even sure if showing public affection in a restaurant like this was forbidden in the first place. He just wanted to kiss Even. Luckily, Even seemed to feel the same way because he pecked Isak’s lips and Isak sank back in his chair with a satisfied smile. “You know, I used to watch Lady and the Tramp with my mum all the time. I always wished for something as romantic as that.”

“And now?” Even said, his own satisfied smile matching Isak’s. “Do you still wish for something as romantic as that?”

Isak shook his head, reaching over the table for Even’s hand. “Now I have the most epic of love stories.”

“Yeah?” Even asked, looking down at their joined hands. 

Isak hummed in confirmation as he drew circles against Even’s skin with his thumb. “You’re everything I hoped for and so much more,” He admitted.

“I’m so lucky to have met you when I did,” Even murmured, his voice quiet compared to the general chatter of the restaurant.

This time, it was on Isak to ask, “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Even confirmed, squeezing Isak’s hand in his own. “When I met you, I was kind of at a weird point in my life. You’ve inspired me to do more with it.”

“Really?” Isak squeaked, overwhelmed by Even’s words, “No one has ever called me inspiring. But you kinda did the same for me… maybe I would still be in the closet if I hadn’t met you.”

“You think so?” Even wondered. “You came out before I messaged you though.”

Isak shrugged, “Yeah. I mean we were leaving comments on each others posts and I had this ridiculous crush on you so I kind of realised something could only happen if I came out? I don’t know, it’s probably stupid. I mean, I did it mostly for myself but you definitely had a part in it.”

“I’m really glad that you did it, then,” Even smiled. “And just so you know, you really helped me come out too.”

“I’m so proud of you for that. If you had needed more time, that would have been okay, too. But I think it’s so brave of you that you came out,” Isak told him earnestly.

Even stared at Isak for a moment, a large smile on his face. “I love you.”

“I love you.”

 

About halfway to their next stop Isak realised, “Wait, are we heading back to yours? Oh, so you think you wined and dined me plenty and can get those sexual favours now?”

“Babe, chill,” Even chuckled, wrapping his arm around Isak’s shoulders comfortingly. “I’d never take advantage of you like that.”

Isak turned around so he was standing in front of Even, grinning when he wrapped his arms around Even’s neck. “What if I want you to take advantage?” He giggled before kissing Even.

“Woah, there.” Even raised his eyebrows. “I mean, I guess I’m not opposed to that, but don’t worry, I still have something else planned for us.”

Isak raised his own eyebrows, “There’s more ‘romancing’?”

“There’s  _ way  _ more romancing left,” Even said, rubbing his arm on Isak’s shoulder. “This dinner was just the beginning. Think of it as…. The romantic pregame, or something.”

“Show me what you got, babe,” Isak smiled, excited to see what was yet to come. The dinner had already been incredible and he had a feeling it would just get better.

 

“Voila!” Even’s voice said from behind Isak as he led Isak into his room.

When Isak took in his surroundings, he did a double take. The whole room was decorated with fairy lights, giving off a warm glow and in the middle of it, Even had set up mountains of pillows and blankets. “You built us a blanket fort,” Isak breathed, stepping closer and ducking his head to look inside and finally just crawling in. He lay on his back, staring at the blanket ceiling, the fairy lights blinking at him like stars. Even knew exactly what he was doing. If it was possible, Isak was currently falling even more in love with Even than he already was. “This is incredible, oh my god,” He whispered, hoping that Even would get in there with him already so he could kiss him stupid.

“I’m guessing you like it then?” Even asked, leaning in to place a sweet peck onto Isak’s lips. “Not too over the top or anything?”

Isak grinned at him and pulled him on top of him by the collar. “It’s absolutely perfect!”

“Yeah?” Even grinned back as he settled on top of Isak, putting his weight on his knees onto the mattress. “This romantic enough for you?”

“You’re the one getting off on romance,” Isak winked at him, “But yes. Now shut up and kiss me.”

“I  _ am _ getting off on romance,” Even murmured teasingly, but leaned in to kiss Isak anyways. 

 

Isak was probably the most comfortable he’d been in a long time, tucked under Even’s arm, one of his pretentious movies playing in the background. As much as Even liked to tease him about it, neither of them were paying attention anyways, opting for makeout sessions mixed in between cuddles. 

“I could stay here with you, just like this, forever,” Isak whispered, nuzzling his nose against Even’s neck.

“I like that idea,” Even murmured, his voice low in his chest. “But I think I might have an even better 

idea.”

“Better than this?” Isak raised his head a little to look at Even disbelievingly. 

“Even better,” Even said, lifting up on his elbow, forcing Isak to sit up with him. “Follow me.”

Even scooted out of the blanket fort and padded over to his closet, pulling out a blanket from the bottom shelf.

Isak watched him warily. “One more blanket is gonna make this even better?” He asked.

“There’s more,” Even replied, turning back to Isak. “Come follow me?”

“You know, if you’re pulling all the tricks in the book tonight already, how are you gonna top that when you propose to me?” Isak widened his eyes, sarcastically adding, “Wait, this night is  _ not _ gonna end in a proposal, right?”

“Isak, we’re way too young,” Even chuckled, throwing the blanket at Isak’s chest. 

Isak laughed and grabbed Even’s hand, letting him lead the way. “Good, we’re on the same page. I’m still curious how you’ll ever top this.”

“I’ll top a lot of things,” Even laughed as Isak rolled his eyes. “No, but seriously. I think you’ll like this.”

“Well show me already! You got me super curious now!” Isak demanded.

When Even led him outside, down the steps of the apartment, across the street to the local park, Isak was thoroughly confused, but he kept quiet.

“Here.” Even stopped, and then begun to lay the blanket on the patch of grass to which he’d led them. “Here is perfect.”

“Perfect for…” Isak prompted, biting his tongue before he suggested public sex  _ again _ \- he didn’t want his ass to freeze off anyways, plus maybe he shouldn’t always ruin the romance.

Even sat down on the blanket and held his arms out, most likely an invitation for him to sit down. “Perfect for stargazing.”

Isak smiled broadly, sitting down to crawl right into Even’s arms. “You really know how to woo me, holy shit. This is so fucking perfect,” Isak whispered.

“Only the best for my little astronaut,” Even whispered back as they lay down together and looked up at the stars. Thank god for the fact that it was a clear night in June, because it suddenly felt as if Isak could see the entire universe, here, safe in Even’s arms.

In all of the universes, Isak saw it clearly; it was always he and Even. No matter the universe, an infinite amount of Isak’s and Even’s laid together, in infinite time.

_ Shades of infinity,  _ Isak thought to himself. Perhaps his silly little username reigned way more truth than he’d ever imagined. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it... this is the official end of this fic. It was so incredible fun to write this and maybe the easiest thing we've both ever written. Thank you to everyone who was along for the right and commented, and gave kudos and all of you who read it and didn't do either. We love you all <3 The guessing game was so much fun too, thank you for bearing with us, and sorry to those of you who we deceived a little bit. We really do love you, please forgive us :D
> 
> If you want, check out our individual works under Twinklylightseverywhere and wyoheartsmusic and/or come chat to us on our tumblrs unendeligtid (Noah) and julian-dahl (Wyo) <3
> 
> Thank you so much for reading <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Remember to check out nyanseravkjaerlighet.tumblr.com for more content, including links to Even and Isak's Instagram profiles.


End file.
